Hey diddle diddle,
The cat had a piddle,
All over the bedroom floor,
I chased it far, right into a car,
Now kitty is no more.
Mary Mary quite contrary
How does your garden grow?
You have a nerve, you bloody perv,
For I know how to mow!!
Incy Wincy spider was sat upon my wall,
I threw at it a high heel and watched the spider fall,
It completely missed, the spider hissed and ran around the floor,
As I ran screaming for my life, straight out of the door.
Little Bo Peep has lost her sheep,
And doesn't know what to do,
When a passer by, who heard her cry,
Said 'Whats the matter with you?'
'I've lost some sheep I was meant to keep!'
She replied to the littlest elf,
'Oh yes I see, but they happen to be,
Right there on that food market shelf!'
Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall,
And all the solicitors over the land,
Helped Humpty sue for a million grand.
Author notes
Just a strange take on nursery rhymes 
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What did you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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its actually bo peep! but still, i loved this so much, it was really really funny lol
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hahaha
wooops I didn't even notice I had typed tat in wrong, haha thanks Shawn.
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Hilarious
This made me laugh so much (as you can see) and I did not want it to end. Absolutely fantastic. The whole damn thing. The Mary Mary, and Incy Wincy stanzas made me piss myself. The rest, I simply sniggered to, in wet pants. Very well done. x -
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Ahem
I hope you've changed them an you're not sat there chatting to me in wet pants! Sickooo!!
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
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