The girl was slipping on her own black stones
She walked like a spider, carefully lifting each leg while she watched out for missing stairs and holes that would take her to the center of the Earth. But she always slipped in her own traps. Each fall took her further into a world that she did not understand.
She was lost.
But she begged them not to notice and tradged on, exhaling apologies like carbon dioxide. Sometimes the hurt came back but she'd scotch-tape the wounds closed before they became infected with all the alcohol and sex that she'd come to love.
She was falling harder than she knew and there was nothing she could do.
But I knew she deserved it.
Author notes
The girl was slipping on her own black stones
-Andi
GOT comments??
Comments
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It's a really solid piece of writing, great imagery and well done with evoking emotional responses from your readers. You could, however revise the wording second verse, I feel like the flow is interrupted with so many harsh sounding words, while the rest of the piece has a beautiful balance between subtlety and drama. Just my opinion, though. In all though, well done =]
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wow
Some fantastic metaphors in there but the message gets across so powerfully - i like this ! I'm definately understanding that one!! well done
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that was great! i love your poems! great job!
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Thank you!! Lol! And thanks for the clappies as well!!
-Andi
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