Fading away in my rearview mirror
She stands there
Til I turn the corner
Away from my sight
But not my mind
Feeling flush full of sadness
as water slowly fills my eyes
I taste the salt of my tears
No music to soothe me
No sound except the engine
The rolling tires on pavement
Carrying me further and further away
Til sunset paints the sky
Orange and yellow and red
But I cannot see its beauty
Hoping the coming night will cover my pain
Ease this aching in my heart
but the darkness betrays me
Shows me I have not been alone at all
She has followed me in her own way
A handprint on my window
Reaching out when I check my mirror
A reminder of what was left behind
A ghost to haunt my night
The last thing she gave me
This is a now a second draft...constructive critizism please...
Comments
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Aww what a sad write, it is so full of description and detail though. It does seem as if the night should ease our pain, although usually it only illuminates it. I love the flow of this and how you easily allow the reader to fill your shoes for as long as they read your words. Perfectly done, don't change a thing!
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