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Going Nowhere Fast

I need to write something
Don't know where to start
Can't do anything
With this hole in my heart

It makes no difference to you
Whatever I do
I am not here at all

Nowhere

Author notes

I had the song Geeking by Spinnerette stuck in my head. I started writing. It started to follow the music. I might do more with it later.

Please tell me what you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments


  • Matthew OMeara
    October 31, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    I would love to see you expand this a little, especially the second stanza. I'd love to see the stanzas include a little more complicated rhymes - too many times the simplest of rhymes are used, like "you" and do". Lastly, I would probably include "Nowhere" as the fourth line in the second stanza, and perhaps lengthen it a bit, like "I am nowhere" or perhaps a repeat of the title "I'm going nowhere fast."

    That aside, I think any writer can identify with your message. Let that hole be your inspiration, and don't be concerned if the audience is apathetic, the appropriate audience will come around.