You can see it now, can you not?
In your mind's eye, you see that single tear fall down my cheek.
A solitary diamond of glistening emotion, laden with my sorrow and silent despair?
[It's not there.]
You are searching for all the right questions to ask, but each without it's own private answer.
The answer, my friend, is public. Everyone knows.
That's the hardest part, isn't it?
You're feeling despondent, heavy, sad.
There's a hole right now where your heart should be, {and you may not even know why.}
After all, I am nothing to you but a voice on the end of a phone.
Nothing to you but a name in black and white.
The residue left after the memory of a hug from long ago.
You'll carry on, with your bills to pay.
Feeling the burden of getting the children to school,
worrying what dress you'll wear,
if your boyfriend will come home today,
if your Mum will finish work on time...
The world will continue turning. People will still smile at each other across the street,
{And pull permits from their pockets for the metal in their hands.}
You'll still taste the bitter scent of coffee as you trot down the road,
The explosion of sweetness from a mouthful of chocolate,
The instant rush of goodness after taking a bite from an orange,
Feeling those vitamins race around your body.
You'll still feel good.
You'll still feel pain.
You'll cry, you'll bruise and you'll dream.
I will be spared-
From that spectrum of fragmented words saved for me.
I ask for nothing but forgiveness.
Forgiveness for wanting freedom.
I desire paper no longer, no more longing, loving, leaving...
No empty words, broken promises, forgotten dreams.
No tax man, birthday cards, christmas presents.
No child's laugh, desert sands, machete masters.
Burdens become heavy when they have been tied to your back (in a failed effort to survive.)
There is no solitary tear serenading the curve of my cheek.
There is no desperate cry begging for escape.
I smile,
Because you will move on.
I'll be an old glance, the twinkle in someone else's eye.
The smile on the face of some else's child,
A name in black and white,
The residue left after the memory of a hug from long ago.
I smile,
Because nothing awaits me but emptiness,
And It's not as heavy as you would think.
Author notes
This should carry a trigger warning, I feel.
But although I have sometimes felt like this, it is not my intention to commit the act.
There are beautiful people here on this plane...
In a list
- 'Some days are sunny, and some days there's a bloody huge thunderstorm waiting!' • next in list
- 'And I sup'prose' you know what you're talking about, do you?' • next in list
- Amazing writes by others!! • next in list
A contest entry
- Suicide Letters by Mango Memories.
1000 points, ended September 30, 26 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What do you think?
Comments
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ooohhhh very niceeee
A solitary diamond of glistening emotion
loving that line/ imagery is great in this and the emotion is powerful!!
and I agree a TW would probably be good... wow Really loved this xx -
Wow! Wow great stuff! Really felt this! X x
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Amazing..
as always. This Is a very powerful depiction of how all of us are likely to feel at sometime or other.....dreadful when it is taken to its ultimate conclusion. I think you did a wonderful job here, describing the 'want for peace'. well done !
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