Oh foolish one grasping at air
The second hand has had its say
You can not walk in history
Nor force memory to attend
Forget what was, it’s just no more
Instead go forth to what awaits
Remember this and you’ll be fine
If she gives love increase yours back
A contest entry
- The Blue Lamp Post Presents "Blank Verse" by The Blue Lamp Post.
1750 points, ended September 21, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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NICE edit. Thank you.
~Pamela


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Thank you for your suggestion it did make a great difference to the flow of my poem. It is for this type of comments that I enter contests.
Thank you. -
Wonderful title - it captured me and I could not quite imagine where you were headed, but your verse explains it all. Lovely. Your last line clinches this contest prompt. So well done.
Couple of things:
memory is three syllables and throws your flow off
Perhaps: Nor force memory to attend. - would work just as well
source: http://www.thefreedictionary.com/memory
I loved your message and you have handled blank verse very well. I will back to peek at this before the final judging. ~Pamela


