Grand Finale

why does it still seem
like i’m nothing more than
a fill-in-girl with men?
they date me up until
something amazing comes by
and ditch me without
a second though.
why does it still seem
as though he doesn’t love me
doesn’t trust me
not like he used to anyway...
why the hell can i never be
the perfect girl
for any fucking man
or woman for that fact?
...why can i never be
fucking good enough?
why do i have to be the one
that gets used and abused?
why can’t...just once...
i be the something amazing
that enters their life...
why must i always be alone
and in tears without anyone
knowing or hearing
or wanting to know or hear...
why am i always the one
being ignored and forgotten?
why am i always the one
hiding in the corner
cause something amazing is in the room?

why can’t i move on from the past?
why can’t i just finalize it?
pick up the knives in my room
get all my blades
and just slit my wrists
my legs
my chest
my throat
and finally no longer be
in last place...
why can’t i go back to
the easy and simple life?
why is it always fucking me?
why do i always get ditched
why am i always unwanted
why am i always ugly
fat
hideous and stupid
...in every possible way...

Why can’t i just end it?

Oh wait...i can...

Goodbye.