On Learning to Evade

What is it
What is it that makes you so slow to accept explanations
Yet so quick to fire
Lightning fast, you're able to raise volumes
Storming, thunderous, and devastating.
What you leave behind, you don't really know
An elevated sense of peace,
Tense in a way that only we could know you were there
For any second it could break
It's more than just the eye of the storm,
It's on-going,
An everlasting cycle of esteem-breaking, tear-bringing shouts and throwing
And the anxiety and tension.
With you, love is never enough and tempers prevail
And it's an odd sort of world for us
When we can't stand for the quiet.
When those who champion us finally break
And the silence seems to amplify the sound.
Or am I trying to listen, though it's the last thing I want to hear,
The very thing I am struggling so vainly to avoid?
It's a strange place to be, for us
When we want you to stay with us and we want you to leave us so strongly,
So equally.
And it's so very wrong and frustrating to never want to go home
What is it about you
That forces this quaking sense of fear and caution upon us
You want to know, but you don't
You want to know, but you wouldn't remember
It would be our fault
It's a constant downpour of yourself around here
And look what you drive us to do
In spite of you or because of you I'll never know,
But we hardly know who we are anymore--
Who we are,
If indeed we are anyone in this house.