silver steel
crimson blood
put it together
Oh, what fun!
you watch it pour
you watch it rain
all over the linoleum floor
out of the fat blue vein
the room starts to spin
as a bubble starts to form
it pops.
and a sense of accomplishment
overwhelmes your body
you pull down your sleeves
take a last look at teh rose droplets
on the floor
and know next time
it will be more
What did you think
Comments
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I like this poem theres some lovely imagery, i to hope that this is not a personal experience :/
Keep writing
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Welcome to Allpoetry
First of all, I'm sorry if this is personal. I've seen many people I love destroyed by self-harm and suicide, and I know it's not an easy situation to deal with; for anyone.
That said, I find that poems of this nature usually affect me because of the subject-matter, rather than the words themselves. These types of writes have the greatest capacity to reach out and touch your readers, but if you play it too safe, it can go wrong. Personally, I think this one is a little on the cliche-side, but there are a ton of lovely images in here that give this great potential for greatness; you definitely have the talent.
Well done, and keep writing! If you ever need to talk, please let me know.
Laura
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