Were I so blushed as like new blossomed rose
And dew fresh yet upon each velvet cheek
Lord William would be mine were I but clothed
In jeweled garbardine and silken leaf
Would I a fetching lass in blooming gown
Entice yon poet's company this eve
I'd wager once adorned by thorny crown
'Is Lord would have me plucked 'ere morning breathe
Alas I fear I'm ought but lowely maid
My wimple swaying with the gentle breeze
The Bard of Avon lives to tell a tale
(Well, p'raps, not quite..for I am but a tease)
And I no unkissed rose in blushed recoil
Yon Bard would find I bloom in fertile soil
Author notes
Experimenting
honest critiques opinions PLEASE
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Beautiful write loved the old world feel of your work.Take care and continue to pen brilliance...
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garbadine should perhaps be gabardine ?
From fertile soil may tree of hope arise
and kiss the skies with verdant canopy,
no poet could recoil, tease, realize
dreams can come true in times that are to be....
No rose unkissed, enthornèd, beauty scented,
beyond weed brambles spreads its scent contented ... -
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(ty for edit) it's the wimple that's killing me!
no rose should be in-wimple-posed
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Real nice lass...
real nice.....
the experiment seems to be very successful.
This was nothing short of outstanding....
i do not say lightly that changing anything
would take away the charm it has.
I honestly believe it reads beautifully...
in short ..I'm pretty blown away.......
it really is art lass....
Bless your heart
little gypsy,
Liam
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Excellant use of Old-English. It's fantastic how this poem immediately put me in the period of the middle ages. The overall effect of the poem was rather bawdy and salacious, as 'wenches' of old are traditionally supposed to be. Excellant write.
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Great experiment, a ode in sonnet form if I am not mistaken. Fair tribute to the master I would say.In other words "WOW!"
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