what is my meaning

sometimes i wonder wh exzist,
i sometimes think what is the meaning to life.
i guestion my exzistance in this world,
and wonder what God was thinking.
every night befor i fall to sleep,
im hunted by my susidel thoughts,
and think how much longer do i have
to suffer on this dredfull earth.
its like whenever i fall in love it feels like
my heart is riped out of my chest
and im forced to watch it take its last cupple of throbing beats.
and when i fall in to unconchesnuss,
i know that noone will care and they will just stare and laugh.
so when i slit my rists and when i hang myself noone will
care and they just soon forget about me and all my beings.