Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

crying window

 

 

raindrops chase each other
down the glass,
like fools drunk on
absurd emotions --
never straight

I make a bet with myself

which one will win,
watching them
on their way down
negotiate long forgotten
fingerprints
and stains left
by selfish play
that once made me smile

mine doesn’t reach
the finish line


I never made it out of bed today

 

Author notes

30 mins, 30-60 words
Prompt : 2. Depression- Noun - An awkward labyrinth of confused emotions

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 15 of 15

  • Yemassee gold member
    October 9
    Edit | Reply
    ''negotiate long forgotten
    fingerprints
    and stains left
    by selfish play''

    That is why you are a good writer, you see things that others don't. You know how a window actually looks when it rains, how the sheet isn't just clean an inviolate, that it has smudges, dirt etc on it.

    Le Mango said it, I repeat it, "brillant" muffin.

    and sorry for any part I may have had in the writing of this poem.


    • Snowbear gold member
      October 9
      Edit | Reply
      Not really all that personal, this poem, more some general thoughts about the feelings to do with the prompt. Of course, those smudges could mean different things, and the “long forgotten fingerprints” are perhaps misleading because I didn’t mean them the way you might have read them. Hey, I wrote this one morning between taking a shower and drying my hair, who knows what I meant

      Thank you

      • Yemassee gold member
        October 10

        Edit | Reply
        I love your comments, when you just let speak without pressure. You have such a good mind and sense of writing that I am enthralled by what you write. That is true in fiction, poetry, journals or comments. I don't think you know how much they impress and have for many years.


      • Yemassee gold member
        October 9
        Edit | Reply
        You are welcome.


  • AliceinPoetryLand gold member
    September 22

    Edit | Reply
    This is really sasd and so beautifully penned. I can also realte to this too as many people can, I'm sure. Thank you for your entry
    Gaylene


  • Manda Kathryn Greeters member
    September 21

    Edit | Reply

    Thank You for Your Entry ~

    Wow can I relate to this or what!
    I am pretty much speechless because
    personal feelings and thoughts relate
    so well to this fantastic write!


    Best of Luck

    Stay safe
    ~Manda

  • abu nuwas
    September 20
    Edit | Reply

    Sharp

    ....or as sharp as one can be without rising!


  • Mango Memories
    September 15
    Edit | Reply
    This. Is. Just. Bluntly brillant!


  • chilali
    September 15

    Edit | Reply
    i love the first stanza, the imagery is just wow. great work! good luck in the contest

1 - 15 of 15