Young and the Bold

walking along the street
i see an old woman who needs a hand
i run over quickly
and help her to her feet
i ask her where she's heading
she says just across the street
so i pick up her bags
and walk along side her
sitting her in a chair
she asks
want a coffee dear
i pull up a chair
and sit on down
a coffee comes
and she smiles
"I wish i was young again and didnt have these wrinkles
or these darn grey hairs"
I can remember her sayin
i tell her i wish older
so i didnt have to do the things i didnt want to do
then something happened
i was in her body
i had the wrinkles
grey hairs
the whole dam lot
and well as if that wasntbad enough
could you imagine the sagging tits
now how in hell was i gonna gwt a man looking like this
we decided to go on lookin
to see what we could do
and off we go our seperate ways
when all of a sudden theres a hot man
forgetting what i look like
i walk on over
tap him on the arm and say
"hi"
well afer giving me a weird look
he says
" ummmm hi"
i reach for my smokes
from my jeans pocket
and that is when i notice
OH MY GOD IM IN A DAM DRESS
i turn around and quickly walk away
i run to the taxi stand
and try to whistle one down
but when i went to whistle
oh great...

out fall the false teeth
on my way home i get to the door
and what do ya know
MY DAD THINKS IM LOST
so away i walk
not knowing what to do
when all of a sudden
an older woman comes my way
she looks at me and says
"Dont forget our knitting project is due"
thank god im nearly back to the meeting point

but OH MY GOD
a old man comes my way
and smacks a big one right on my lips
i swear i nearly died
and i tell you now
i know he drooled on me
he wants to watch his step
he might slip on all theat drool
oh and did i mention
the walking stick and slippers
and he must polish his head
cause i think i saw my reflection
right in the bald spot in the middle of his hair
but was is it on top of me that i see
is that pom pom what i call my hair
and dont she know theres something called hair dye
its about as grey as my dogs dirty coat
and talk about the wrinkles
its a wonder they dont cover
the granny glasses that i have to wear

finally i am back
and thank god so is she
and i can still recall what she had to say
" young lady what is that down there
a pericing or maybe 3
what about a chain or two
and what is that on your boob
since when is it lady like to have a tatoo
and what is with this hair
try find the invention called the brush
and dear me
all those men tapping your bum
and calling you babe
but dont you have any deceent clothes
instead of this indecent trash
seriously dear
dont you have any decent panty hoes
instead of these ones that stick up you bum"

" well ill tell you what you can take your sagging tits
and dont forgett your bloody wrinkles too
and just a word of advice trim a hair or two
and i dont mean on top
maybe then you wouldnt spend an hour on the bloody loo"

"well excuse me when i say your quite the little git
you young ones think your all so smart
with punk music and your...."

" HEY! you old bloody hag dont you know
when no bodies listening
well then again thats half
you old folks problems
you's are continuousley talking to your self"


This was the argument that we had
bu then we both said

" i want my body back"
a light feeling come to my head
and before i knew i heard

" im sorry my dear what were you saying"
typical they have have memory problems to.