You.
You and I in a room and its so full, yet so empty.
We are nothing and everything, and we are surrounded with guilt ridden corpses and silence that wont stop.
I...
Am sorry I didn't know how refracted my inner workings were, but they've sent me on a loop to 2005 and i can't tell the time.
I thought I had been here, and that I'd seen everything I never needed to see, that it was the end, that it would end in blue.
But....
I realised that I was nieve as Bambi, as self righteous as a priest and as ambiguous as the helplines that tell you 'its worth it' in the end.
but the end is gutter-trapped styrofoam and is as inexplicable as this poem, writ trapped, in a lonely room full of people on the beach.
A total contradiction.
A contest entry
- An Empty Room by NickRhyme.
400 points, ended October 2, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Nice work, interesting take on the prompt. Good metaphorical usage and there's some good imagery too. Thank you for entering.
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Might want to run this through a spell check. Bambi with an 'i'... ambiguous and naive...
We are human, and a constant of humanity is contradiction. One has to learn not to mind...
End in blue, is intriguing. When the light is coming toward you there is a Doppler like effect called Blue shift. Going away, it is Redshift.
"Self righteous as a priest" may say more about you, than it does about the priest... -
WOW!
I stand in awe... Beautiful! It is full of emotions that leave the reader engulfed in the contradiction!
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well done, ive never read any of your other writes before. but i surely enjoyed this.
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Good
You managed to arouse curiosity within the reader leaving us thirsting for more. The words took stage and treated the reader to a glimpse of your most secret thoughts. The raw emotions within your words capture the heart with their strength.
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Superb Plus +
Ah, I love these enigmatic writes which are filled with more than one philosophical interpretation. You have expressed your thoughts quite well. Keep on writing. Thanks for sharing.
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