Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

Observer

An optimist in the making,
i am yours for the taking,
dare to taste the sweet and bitter,
do your best to out-wit her,
ironic,
you can't kid a kidder,
sport a grin and bear it,
choose to count the candles lit,
brain matter,
clouds scatter,
breathe,
push the patience of a father,
sweet and swindled,
unscathed daughter,
dream not of your darkest hour,
bless the lips of this blooming flower,
not or whether,
burn black till we sustain together.

First Impression?

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

  • Awesome! The progression of the poem took a winding path that proved to be enticing to read and interesting. The type of description used such as;
    'brain matter'
    'bless the lips of this blooming flower'
    'to count the cnadles lit'

    Of course there are many more but this comment would be very long if I named all of them. The subject matter was interesting and the way in which you wound the poem around it was done with skill. The flow was very smooth.


  • AlexandraHamilton
    September 14

    Edit | Reply
    I read the first word, and had to read all of the following ones to see where the journey ended. Seriously, that was my first impression. Well written.