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[ I believe I will remove my skin ]

I believe I will remove my skin
In winter,
              I have grown larger than my old skin.

When I stand naked on my grass
                      as a renewed canvas
(Dew, and clippings stuck to my feet.
With the morning light reflecting off my paleness.)
I will create a new skin
from leaves
twigs, hair
paper, markers
glue
life, [the cold and warmth of interaction]
Staples, styrofoam
fireworks
kerosene, flashing lights.

When I have finished
I will have destroyed myself (autocanabalism)
and with luck
become a god for the new Aged

What should I change?

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

  • this is pretty powerful to me, although the lines are short
    they are right to the point and speak out from the rest...
    keeeep writing!
    -Marisa :]

  • imagery ..

    check spelling

    wonderful


  • written-in-ink
    September 27

    Edit | Reply
    i like the middle the begining is a little

    too explained?
    does that make sense because i really hope it does
    i dont like autocanabalism in the ( ) either say it or dont you know ?


    i like the end very nicely written my love
    <3