Wind blown emotions smashing head on into a rock face wall explodes
cascading down a shattered vision of what I thought I wanted,
another romantic illusion of something just out of reach.
Death gently seduces, trying to sway me with a deceptive what if,
as I blindly take his hand momentarily
just to feel the comfort my romancer has yet to offer
if i just take the plunge.
Softly caressed aromatic venues portrayed as bliss
massage my thoughts in an apparent attempt at seduction.
He turns to she in order to soften the sting that is trying to hide from me.
My self once so blind to oblivion now knows his/her true face
and yet my seducer sprays my eyes to black them out from reality and sighs...
One more for the road buddy, you know,
another one of those depressing
"what's the fucking point in trying", kind of thoughts.
Liars lie rubs my shoulders and nibbles my ears,
tasting my anguish secreting from my lobes
and trembles with excitement
as I contemplate death.
Sardonic realization momentarily enables me to understand
as tear ducts fill
and my eyes ooze with muddied black.
Just for one fleeting moment and it is barely enough,
I can see.
I tell my self everything will be ok,
as I look for a better answer.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 27 of 27
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A very strong message
and an incredible write. I like the emotional rollercoaster displayed here...and the strong ending. Honest and unashamed...well done, poet
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Thank you so much!
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Good for you
Ending it all should never be an option but I can certainly understand the feeling that leads us to such thoughts.
When I was twelve years old I vowed to commit suicide when I reached the age of thirty because it sounded so awfully old and I didn't want to be old. Silly, I know and of course by the time I was thirty I had long since outgrown that thought and decided that ANY age is a good age.
Now, even with the physical pain I live with day after day, life is too wonderful to lose. The last few lines of your poem say it all.
An excellent write
Dee
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I am all for life that is for sure....thank you so much for reading and taking the time to comment.
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Heart wrenching.
Powerful write. An amazing piece from an amazing poet!!! Your talent is incredible. The mtaphors and the imagery are so breathtaking, and it's so soul seering. Keep up the incredible work.
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This is an amazing compliment coming from someone as talented as you are. Thank you so much.
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damn.
yeah, i dont know what to say.um besides the fact the it was AMAZING. haha. i know what i like in my head, it wont let it come out in a comment, sorry? its just wow... beyond my response... maybe i'll reread it when i can breathe.
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I was hoping you would like this. I have been reading you and xxuglyduclingxx and thought Now I have to set my writing standard a little higher. Thank you so much! This compliment means a lot coming from you.
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lol!
of course:]
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This is a powerful piece McBatman as you take the reader through the thought process and how enticing the "easy way out" can be in times of desperation and loss of hope. All it takes sometimes is that one glimpse of sun from behind the clouds to let us know the sun is still there and it's shining.
Now this is why I don't want to take my quit smoking meds because one of the precautionary warnings/side effects is "you may have thoughts of suicide". I just don't want to take a chance that I'll feel that way.
I lost a friend to suicide and to be honest, I'm still not over it and it was over 20 years ago. I had one who talked about during a difficult time in her life and another tried but was unsuccessful. They both got the help they needed, came out of it okay and eventually found hope and happiness. There are always alternatives.
It's very well done.
stix
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Suicide is definitely the wrong way to go. Sometimes though, when life turns to McBat poop the thoughts try to creep in and I say holy snickey's Robin! The Sadistic Suicide Tempter is trying to annihilate me! Quickly Robin, get the Bat Disruptor, we'll shoot him with positive ray depositors! FOOM! ZOW! WING! PUUNNNEEE!
On a serious note I agree with you. I am sorry for your loss. I don't blame you about the meds. I have been fortunate enough not to have taken up that habit. I had other addictions that I had to overcome though. I now have 7 years this year without alcohol and drugs. Yay! A double bd for me. 38 on the 9th and 7 yrs sober on the 10th of Sept. -
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First and foremost McBatman...A BIG YAY for you and your special anniversaries. I can only imagine the strength, focus and effort of staying sober and clean. Congratulations.
Smoking is highly addictive and has been a beast for me. I quit both times I was pregnant but quit for the babies and not for myself.
Keep the positive ray depositors close at hand at all times. Tell Alfred to make sure they're properly maintained and charged. lol
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wow..thats deep...so heart tugging....I could feel the words...yet another great piece
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Ahhhh my sweet gingerlei......thank you soooo much for this awesome comment!
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heart-wrenching.....
This sure hits home. I've been down this road before. I nearly took my life twice in my teens. I didn't make any attempt to, but I came very close. My heart goes out to anyone who has ever lost a loved one to suicide. I have two dear friends who both lost a parent to suicide. I'm glad that life found you.
Don
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Teenage time of life can be the most confusing and hard to handle because of the great search of identity add a shitty home life and that can really compound things. Teen age depression is no joke. I've been there too. It's a very difficult thing to get through especially if you have limited understanding. Thanks for the comment Word Smith.
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"and yet my seducer sprays my eyes to black them out from reality and sighs..."
I know from my own failures that reality gets blacked out during such emotional injuries. Fortunately I also know such feelings are aberrations and will change. I'm also a big coward and I also like breathing very much...so the thought never seriously enters my head...and no emotional reaction could ever send me there.
What is great about this poem is that it shows an alternative to those who clearly think there is no other option. Of course the rosy faced teens who pretend to be cutters will hate your poem for it invalidates their fantasies...but for that person who really suffers, this is a poem to read.
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I am definitely there with you on this one....lol I am a coward too. I am also a big fan of breathing! lol.. Thanks for the awesome comment and for adding me...you were already on my favs list. Tee Hee!
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It is strange but it is hard for me to add people as favorites. I feel inadequate and so it takes a lot of "gumption" to make me click that little link. Not sure why. Maybe I need a shrink.
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Take another shot of moxie! That should help!
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The drama and the fears you strike in the readers heart
are almost unbearable, so graphically portrayed,
so real the tempter/temptress.
But relief as your true spirit rises up in the closing,
as the pep talks you have given others you meet
are directed inward.
Scary drama for this one who is faint of spirit,
looking for the brighter side.
M-C
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I think that there are some that do not have understanding of the permanence of death or the consequences in the after life romanticize suicide as something beautiful. There is always a better way to deal with problems. I think, at least for me any way...I don't want to die, I just want things to be better.
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As usual your comments are just outstanding! Thank you.
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Just don't scare me any more!!!
See yourself in the best light!! -
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Death isn't for me....no no no...I WANT LIFE AND LIFE IN ABUNDANCE!........
because I'm a crazy leprechaun, woohoo!, woohoo! I'm a crazy leprechaun woohoo! woohoo! -
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...who needs sleep!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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