Who in Leptonia knew
that leptons coupling to gauge bosons
would be a flavor-independent experience?
This property is now called "lepton universality"
and has been tested in measurements with tauons and muons,
as well as with Z boson partial decay widths, wouldn't you know...
Now, as love and romance would have it,
at both the Stanford Linear Collider (SLC) and Large Electron-Positron Collider (LEP) experiments
it was found that the decay rate of muons through the coupling process
was similar to the decay rate of tauons, who, feeling the pressure,
were happy just to survive the process with their resonant widths intact...
They enjoyed their times together, these leptons, muons, and taurons
approximated in expressions, formed in universalities and coupling constants
branching into electron modes to heighten the mutual experience,
enjoying one another’s decay rates implicit in their lifetimes
and diverging into ratios according to the process x → y.
Life was grand until the invasion of specks, specs, and granules.
It was more like a desperate migration, but they took over everything,
absorbing countless leptons, muons, and taurons
and transforming the landscape into a speckled, granulated nightmare.
The first generation to come from this upheaval were quarks-
free and independent, with a touch of the wild-
responding to strong interactions, weak interactions, electromagnetic force
and even gravity, eventually creating six new flavors of leptons.
This was delightful for speck and crew, for eating lepton soup was a favorite pastime.
As new particles began to be synthesized,
anti-particles made their appearance, consuming all in their path.
This did not initially concern the specks, for the anti-particles were so very, very small...
but when the antileptons had their 'generation number' reduced to a negative one,
alarm and panic ensued, and weak isospin-redoublets were called upon
who reassigned decent leptonic numbers to the leptons and saved their generation...
Things went well until the neutrinos appeared, complete with oscillations,
and with a mass that suggested a physics beyond the Standard Model.
Meanwhile the neutrinos and leptons played in the Higgs Field
on seesaw mechanisms designed only for left-handed neutrinos
while leptons and antileptons were created in pairs within a single generation.
The world was in harmony... that is, until the gravitons appeared...



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