She counts the auburn rings
around the willows tears that fell to the bottom of this glass;
I didn’t think that I had problems with your laughter or the things you made
me feel when I was dizzy, and happy
I never thought to question how I got to my beginnings
And how you got to your ends
these things that spilled out of thin lips would never make the skies as bright
as the suns in my eyes you always took for granted
Author notes
this is shit
and i am sorry
i used the second prompt
A contest entry
- sunday night quickie. by August Starlight.
700 points, ended September 13, 8 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
astroturf?
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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I really liked this; I didn’t think that I had problems with your laughter or the things you made
me feel when I was dizzy, and happy
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This was lovely, and sad, I can relate to it quite a bit. I don't think this is shit at all. I really like it.
"I didn’t think that I had problems with your laughter or the things you made
me feel when I was dizzy, and happy
I never thought to question how I got to my beginnings
And how you got to your ends
these things that spilled out of thin lips would never make the skies as bright
as the suns in my eyes you always took for granted"
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It's not shit. It's quite great actually. =]
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juanaa!!
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Created incredible pictures in my head. Great job
♥
A. R. Rodriguez -
incredible
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this is not sh*t. this is beautiful and I loved it!! your writing is always nothing less than amazing.
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second line = amazing. i love it.
and i do quite like the ending as well.
thanks for entering and good luck.
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