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Crushing Silence

Rambling on the edge of what has never been
sinking to the depths of hope
in which the light stays dark
and the promise of better days is continuous
the silence is crushing me
in the search for the faintest whisper
breaking through the all encompassing darkness
the endless expanse that is the human mind
a frighteningly desolate desert
of broken haunting mirages just above the horizon
a promise of better days never to come.

Author notes

from a few days ago.

I took your time, now let me have your thoughts....

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 14 of 14

  • doyouloveit
    November 2

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    wonderfully written each line portraying such truth that we all hate about life sometimes and what pain it can bring but i like what you wrote and i can relate to it in my own life and thoughts good job


  • Lolitax3
    October 15
    Edit | Reply
    comment comment comment

  • musiccraze2009
    September 26

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    Awesome imagery! I guess everybody is saying that though lol. Very somber and very emotional! Great write!


  • trekkergirl
    September 26

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    Very good imagery in this one. I like it. You put emotion, and imagery together to tell a dark haunting tale. I like it. Great job. Thanks for sharing this with us.

  • pkoirish
    September 21

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    Imagery

    Wonderfully written.... Rambling on the edge of what has never been
    sinking to the depths of hope
    in which the light stays dark
    and the promise of better days is continuous
    the silence is crushing me

    PKO


  • toomysterious
    September 16

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    It is very dark but all the metaphors you use are great and you know what they say, the darkest hour is just before the dawn. Hope your mood lightens and your muse comes to your rescue. I enjoy reading this very much.

  • Lolitax3
    September 14

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    Yes! Finally, a poem!

    I enjoyed how your poem plunged down - you began off by being on the edge/top and slowly you fell into deeper waters. An imagery of light (being on the edge--outside, etc) slowly faded into darkness.

    I love it, despite the dark message this holds.

    Despite your pessimism and despite my pessimism, let's pretend for now that there is hope somewhere.

    <3

    • mcw120588
      September 15

      Edit | Reply
      i wrote this and two days later i find myself falling for an amazingly cute and fun girl and perhaps even standing a chance...(i least i hope so because she took my valencia hoodie from my car lol)


      • Lolitax3
        September 16
        Edit | Reply
        Aw, go for her!

        & get your hoodie back if she's playing you =P


  • Sleep isforthe Weak
    September 14
    Edit | Reply
    Love the last lines. Nice job


    • mcw120588
      September 15
      Edit | Reply
      thanks so much! its been a while since i wrote anything so this was just a random free write a few days back

1 - 14 of 14