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Envy

Hearts cut the opean cords
The crosses of sliencee
Deep in the pit of the mind
Lashing torns of envy
Cut the crosses of black emotion

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  • ReAdInG.iS.sExY
    September 14

    Edit | Reply
    hmmm, makes you think.
    i like the short ones. descriptive and clear, with alotta depth.
    I think it would sound better if you did not repeat 'crosses'.
    but as it goes. i am green with envy.
    i do wish i wrote this.
    lashing torns of envy - i do like that
    I think you have created something real here! great

    • eatmydirt
      September 18
      Edit | Reply
      Why thank uxpyeah Iagreewith but Im sure what toreplace it with any suggestions are greatly valued <3