73 pounds
Skinny, thin.
I want to see my bones through sheets,
I want to see my ribs like cut up meat.
I scream when I see me,
Myself I see in the mirror,
Bruised where I hold my fat,
Scars where blood once ran,
Hatred in my eyes
And a murderer on my lips.
101 pounds it read yesterday,
96 pounds it said today.
Tomorrow who knows
But soon it will reach 73
Cigarettes and vomit stink up my fingers,
Cheap perfume and sugar free gum to mask the smell.
Headaches and stomachaches go on all day,
Tosses and turns throughout the night.
Dreaming of food wakes me while I fight to stay alive.
Will I die? I wonder.
I mean if I lose this fight.
Will I eat to my death or die thin?
The first is not an option.
Fat is no longer alright.
73 pounds and everything will be fine.
95 pounds when I awoke.
1 pound less than yesterday.
95, my lowest weight yet.
Tomorrow 93, 94, or maybe less?
Whatever it is as long as its less I will feel somewhat pleased.
22 pounds till I’m 73,
22 pounds until I’m free.
Tonight I’ll bike till the wee hours of the night.
3500 calories to burn for 1 less pound.
5 shrimp I ate today.
Was it too much, will I faint?
Hopefully not.
Skinny, thin is my goal
And perfection is the only destination.
Bones are beautiful
And soon I’ll be skeletal.
your opinion is greatly appreciated
Comments
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my first impression was that you are a very good writer. and i hope to see alot more as awesome as this one!
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its very well written it's also was very powerful and very understanding it was a really great poem good job as a teen i struggled with an eating disorder now 5 years later i am struggling again so keep your head up
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oh my god, you have no idea how well i can relate to this. it's amazingly well written and captures an eating disorder and the impossible chase for perfection perfectly.
these lines i could see myself in especially, "Cigarettes and vomit stink up my fingers,
Cheap perfume and sugar free gum to mask the smell."
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