Fire.
Dancing across the ground.
Colors flare angrily.
Flickering fingers reaching desperately.
Fire.
Grab ahold. Never letting go.
Consumes. Devours.
Reducing all to ash.
The tall now nothing but dust.
The strong brought to ruins.
Fire.
Burning fiercly.
Raging in chaos.
Spreading past reason.
Driven to live.
Destined to die.
Fire.
Smouldering fearfully.
Not wanting to go out.
Searching for the strength.
Strength to live again.
Grasping weakly to fading breath.
Fire.
Gone but remembered.
World scorched.
Forever scarred.
Smoke lingers.
Heat fades.
Say what you will.
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Again, this is brilliant, seriously. It was good you repeated fire between each stanza, it's like you're crying out or chanting the word so that it will spread awareness. Although one suggestion. There's no need to put full stops after every line, otherwise it sounds very forced. If you don't put any, it will flow more, but still carry out the meaning that everything is affected. Also you could say instead of 'not wanting to go out', you could say 'never wanting to go out' or something like that. But your imagery is great, with again so many action verbs. Another great poem. =)
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You are very well spoken for your age you know. You leave comments with very astute observations. Keep commenting, I think you will help alot of writers with your comments and suggestions.
Guardian Warrior. -
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Wow, it's the first time someone has commented on my commenting, if you know what I mean. =P Thank you. =)
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Well it was comment worthy.
Guardian Warrior.
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I really like this. It's a classic piece. It feels like something you would read from the older great writers.
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