She asks with her hands in my hair,
"Darling, play me another sad song?"
All you self destructive masochistic bitches,
Show me what it's like to hate myself,
"God damn sweetheart, you're too skinny,"
"That's the idea, haven't you heard?"
She teaches me how to draw cocaine lines,
And to rewrite my mistakes with a toothbrush
She was beautiful in an angelic kind of way,
So I never thought she could possibly lie
I'm coughing up blood on my hands,
It's the price of instant gratification
And all their unhappiness looked so beautiful,
What on earth was I thinking?
Author notes
when i was younger, i'd always read memoirs about people who were addicted to heroin and meth and cocaine and i thought addiction was the most tragically beautiful thing.
when i first found out what eating disorders were, i was jealous of the self control and dedication it took to starve yourself or stick a toothbrush down your throat.
i know better now.
Thoughts?
Comments
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wow. wow wow wow. this is so powerful. i've been through an eating disorder myself and i read this and it just really affected me. good job. stay strong!!!
reviewback xx -
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aw
thanks a lot. i hope it was in a good way, not a "let's go puke" kinda way D:
you too
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aw its good you know better now they're not nice things to live with
amazing poem!
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