The Unique Me
is a destination
still undiscovered.
Though many travel the road,
it is clouded by fog,
remaining to be what seems
a myth.
The question most asked –
is it just like everything else?
Should I even bother setting out
to find it?
Or is it something new,
original and beautiful
in its own way?
What separates it
from everything else?
How do we know it even exists?
Has anyone found it?
I shudder at the answer…
A plethora of failure hits
at every corner,
the strongest obstacles
in the way of the journey,
the biggest hurdle –
the ruler.
Though many have tried
and all have failed,
I will put my heart
and mind
to the test.
I will carry my hope
at its strongest,
and leave my faith to grow.
I will venture the path
ridden with difficulties,
fight the monsters
guarding the way,
and discover The Unique Me,
and break down the gates.
Once and forever.
Author notes
I had an assignment for my Religious Knowledge class,and i had to do anything i wanted that would describe "the unique me".
This was what i chose.
Honest criticisms please!
Comments
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Great theme here. Overall I really enjoyed your phrasing and topography throughout this piece. After rereading this several times I won the debate with myself (yeah I know..) that the rhetorical questing in stanza 3 works really well. The only part I really have a critique for is this stanza:
A plethora of failure hits
at every corner,
the strongest obstacles
in the way of the journey,
the biggest hurdle –
the ruler.
More specifically, it is hard to tell what the "strongest obstacles" are (i.e. the failure, the ruler, or a yet unnamed thing?). Finally, I don't leave the poem feeling as if I know who "the ruler" is, or therefore, why he/she/it is the biggest hurdle.
Now... To be fair I am atheist and that may be why that is lost on me. Finally, I really love that this piece expresses your faith without shoving down the throat of others. Beautiful write.
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I realised it might have been difficult to pick up on, but the ruler is actually myself. I push people (and myself) away from discovering who I truly am,whether it be fear or some other unkown feeling.
Thank you!
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