i wish i could collide with the letters in your words.

I’ll never forget the words thrown diligently across to me.

Our youth is lost. My hand in yours is just a gesture. You may love me, but what I feel for you is not called love.
I rise and fall in your arms, and I wonder if this is the last time I will ever be able to feel anything for you. Can you hear me trying to tell you no? I’d try to bring your closer, try to bring your hands closer to my eyes, but you’ve chained me to your chest. I need something new.

We both have lost. Your skin against mine is your reaction to my anger. Sometimes I wonder if it’s better to let you use me than to let you go. I swear I will use my body, mind and soul to show you without words, that you mean something.

Your lips are burning at my throat. I can’t breathe. This silent beauty is too much for my broken lungs to bear. I know now that our ending will not be beautiful. You knew, you’ve always known, that I am too weak to say no. It’s your fault my lungs no longer exist.

You have actions, and you have motives. I’m a slave to your hands, to your lips, my wrists in your undying grasp. Your words are cliché, but I twist the meaning so much that even I don’t understand. So many nights the pleasure’s been all yours, and we’ll never remember. Sometimes I wish you would get caught.

I’d give up everything to have courage, to not crumble in the wake of your words, to shove my hands inside your chest and push you away from forcing yourself inside me once more. To know that I wouldn’t have to fake one more moan to get you to love me. Someday, when the world wakes up to your lust, you will not have me.

I would lock my door if your hand wasn’t holding mine. I’d hide from you if your eyes weren’t all that was keeping me breathing. You haunt me. My body aches and smells of your sweat, and I cannot remove your voice from my fingers. I’ll give you what you want, again, if you let me go.

Your hands resemble my pain, my fear, and I remove my skin once more. Please, let this be the last time. 

Last night, you held my hand and told me you were glad it was me. Your sweat mingled with the midnight air and I closed my eyes and wished I was anywhere but here.

Please. Anywhere but here with you.