I am a flounder
a flounder arounder
flailing
and as you see
that fish out of water
tail flip flapping
mouth gaping
gulping air
the common reaction
is laughter
incongruity
before the dead eyed stare
and nothingness.
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
-
Somethingness
Okay.
There is the whole poem here to see, where you've
skillfully incorporated the emotion of laughter with
a foreboding, which nets a congruent
incongruity- a fearful chuckle in the
reader... well, this reader.
Fearful chuckles...
are a manifestation of bravery. You've fearfully chuckled first, the
reader then second. Nnnnnnnnnnnn... I think.
Congruent incongruities...
are seemingly oxymoronic- like the words 'jumbo shrimp', and 'seemingly oxymoronic'.
Keeping things wet, till time tells, does the fish well.
If anything is to come of my words, at least I've pointed out
an easy way to remember the definition of the literary term 'oxymoron'
for those that don't know and are reading this...
Jumbo shrimp !
As always, thanks for the satisfying read.
~Kley


-
-
Oh yes, "skillfully" I like that!

This poem started out as meant to be but only the first three lines...
and then obviously I went on from there. For the better or the worse I know not, but yes, yes I liked it. I liked the slippery fish slope it took. The oxymoron slide. The ridiculous dead pan of it. And now now into the frying pan, drenched in flour and crisped to a turn.
And yes, shrimp is good too! The jumboer the better.
Thanks, kley, for reading and your comment. A good chuckle, you oxymoron you!
-
-
This is awfully sad, the dead eyed stare and nothingness. Maybe fish die of happiness? That may make it easier to eat them.
I don't mind when people laugh at me. I laugh at myself all the time.



-
-
Thanks for reading, Merc.
I am pretty sure fish don't die of happiness and yet I still don't seem to mind eating them...lightly seasoned! Oh awful awful wretched me.
Hey, I don't mind being laugh at either, all that much, though mostly I like to be laughed with. I like it when we all get the joke!
Taking ourselves too seriously is a gill net, mahn!
-
-
Glomping!
I would replace 'and as' in the second stanza with 'like me'?

-
-
Oh you would would you. So you're a flounderer bounderer too eh?
Thanks for reading and glomping me!
-
-
I can relate. I often feel like a fish out of water. Well written and cleverly structured, poet! A pleasure to read.


-
-
Thanks, ara.
There's lots of us fishes out of water flapping foolishly on the beach. Waiting for a boot back into the sea...or into a seal!
-
1 - 8 of 8




