here comes her face in my mind
in this room her life left behind
her face peeling a lifeless mold
as time passes her death is told
blood splattered on the wall
ripped to pieces here she will fall
where once her eyes held fear
only a black hole remains here
little one dressed in white
for her life she will fight
warmth and security are not in this place
you can see the pain on her twisted face
peeling back layers one by one
now we know her time is done
little girl lost in fright
now here is her dimming light
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A contest entry
- Surrender To My Madness (Round Two) by Agrona.
700 points, ended September 26, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Dark Poems by jamesbliss.
440 points, ended October 9, 74 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Dark Emo Writes~All Welcomed by VampireKitty-.
470 points, ended October 14, 84 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - *~* PREWRITES CONTEST*~* by tidoubleguher.
750 points, ends December 6, 201 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest - the darkness continues... by Jaymy.
650 points, ends December 1, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest - Prewrites. ♥ by GraveyardGoddess.
400 points, ends November 27, 439 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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very nice poem...great job!
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If this is a poem about suicide, and it appears to be, it is not the easiest thing to write about.
Stark and real. Almost too real in spots.
Good job though. Always a good thing to remember them who are no longer here.
John -
....
Dark, reading it touched me, on what level, i cannot really say.
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very interesting poem...I liked it. good write
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Hmm...
Not what I was looking for; it IS about darkness, yes, but it seems...quite...not happy about the darkness.
Thank you for entering! -
i'd love to say this piece is awesome, but i'd be lying... fucking biblical sounds more appropriate.
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Excellent
this is a fantastic piece you have written here .
I like it . The Imagery is great the flow is so smooth you have painted a picture thet just jumps right out to you. ( rhyme is my thing ) and it is perfect .
not forced at all.
your description of pain and death rings all through it .
the two lines that realy stands out.
#11 warmth and security are not in this place.
#12 you can see the pain on her twisted face
\
I also like the no capital letter no puncuation theme
good write thanks for sharring it with us.
ED.
wingsofgold25
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(claps slowly)
The imagery here is fantastic and very dark. It has a playful dancing rhythm to it and yet it screams of madness and pain and death. I love the feel of it in that sense and find it facinating.
Very well done,
Your Czarina,
~Seraph
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