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Lone Horse

Standing there,
Frozen in time.
Spring rusted and cracked,
Hinges squeaky.
Unable to take its next leap,
Betrayed.

Remember,
When it still had a glint in its eyes.
Where joyful play still surrounded it,
Frolicking on its sturdy back
Rocking them to their hearts content.

But one day,
No one came.
Just passing by,
Talking loudly.
No more fun,
No more play.

Day after day,
Standing there,
Believing someone will come back for it.
Each raging storm, each beating sun,
Every passing day, its hope fading.
Will you come back for me...?

A contest entry

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • RainShatteredDreams
    October 15
    Edit | Reply
    this is really good, great emotion and fantastic imagery


  • badddgirl
    October 11

    Edit | Reply

    :)

    Brilliantly mastered!
    Once again hun, you rock!

    But one day,
    No one came.
    Just passing by,
    Talking loudly.
    No more fun,
    No more play.

    How sad.


    • Tinselpool
      October 15
      Edit | Reply
      Such powerful meaning put into your couple words. Couldn't define it any better, though.



      Claire

  • Tinselpool
    September 26

    Edit | Reply
    Oh this is so beautiful!!! Reminds me of how I felt half a year ago about a specific Daniel...

    Thanks for sharing, u rock jazz,

    claire


    • shelldefined
      September 26
      Edit | Reply
      thanks! surprisingly, you're the first one to comment. the guy that made the contest didnt post the results, and it was over on september 12. oh well. who cares about him? just ignore that fact and get on with your life!!!

      thanks,
      panini

1 - 5 of 5