I slowly ran my fingers through your hair,
As we laid under the stars.
You gently kissed me on the cheek,
Then held me in your arms.
We gazed into each others eyes,
And then you fell asleep.
From that moment on I knew,
This was a memory I would keep.
You looked so happy and peaceful,
I think you had even smiled.
Maybe you were dreaming something,
That made this night worthwhile.
I was hoping not to wake you,
And ruin your time of bliss.
But I couldn't hold myself back,
From giving you a kiss.
I leaned in close and quietly,
And then your lips touched mine.
I couldn't believe the way I felt,
In that instant of time.
I slowly began to back away,
When I heard a quiet sound.
It was you whispering 'I love you'
I replied and laid back down.
You held me so tight that night,
As we both fell asleep.
Bonded by each others love,
Because of you I am complete.
Author notes
This happened with me and my b/f...unfortunately my mom woke us up and he had to go home but...the moments before were amazing Good luck to everyone in the contest
Written April 4th, 2004
A contest entry
- Anything and Everything by BurntSimplicity.
300 points, ended April 21, 2004, 19 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 44 of 44
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Your mom woke you up...that author's comment took me back and reminded me of when my mom and dad used to harass me and my b/f (at the time) Those relationships (for me) never lasted, but the time spent with them was special and I have a lot of priceless memories of those feelings.
Hang on to it as long as you can and keep expressing your affection through your lovely writing
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Congratulations on the trophy, loved the poem
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Oh my gosh! this poem was excellent! i loved it so much! it's so much like my boyfriend and me. all you wanna do is snuggle and be held. well anywayz i loved this and good luck in my contest, thanx for entering!
~screaming
I was hoping not to wake you,
And ruin your time of bliss.
But I couldn't hold myself back,
From giving you a kiss.
I leaned in close and quietly,
And then your lips touched mine.
I couldn't believe the way I felt,
In that instant of time.
(favorite part)
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wow this was a really good poem liked this one alot i could feel the love between you too some times i wonder if my gf and i would really love one another some times i dont know if she really does i do the same with my gf hold her tight and all that but i wonder if she really cares about me she really can be mean alot of the times she says she does it because she loves me
i dont know ne ways thought this was a great write
really really good!!!!!
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oH. that was cooL. sO swEeT.
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great!!
awe, sweet. Sure there's plenty of sappy love poems on here, and frankly I can't stand them, this being the exception. I loved it! Your rhyming was pro too! So sweet! Man, I think everything's said that needs saying, but ya... so good! -
nice
It's good, I enjoyed reading it. It was a little sappy but that could just be my mood. Love is not so good right now. I did really like it though. -
oh my how beautiful.... fantastic poem...what a talent
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This is absolutely beautiful - I am inspired to write my own "sleepy time" poem now, but as I am in a mischevous mood I don't think it will be as romantic
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I'm glad that I came across your poem....it was very good and reminds me of some of my memories. I love how you wrote it and it ended perfectly
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Wow I really liked this it was so sweet and gentle. Very loving and touching, not at all creepy like it could be having someone watch you sleep.
It is very well written and just generally lovely and sweet.
Keep writing and take care, Heather x -
This poem was amazingly written. The emotions showed through beautifully, and it really puts you in the place of the author and lets you feel what the author feels. Thank you for sharing this with us. Maybe it will inspire somebody to get the courage to drop their fear of life and actually try out love. Bravo on a great write. Keep up the good work.
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awes
okay, im not a gurly gurl, but that poem turned me instant chic! i got the puppy dogg look, and i did the aww's cause it reminded me of my boyfriend -
Thank you all for your comments! I really appreciate it
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GREAT!!!!!!!
ohhhh, this was such a sweet write. very beautiful poem, mestupgirl!!! ohhhh... ... love... such a mysterious yet wonderful feeling... it may lead to brokenheart in some cases, but when you are in love, oh, it feels so fucking great! doesn't it?
thanks for sharing such a beautiful piece with all of us. i wish you the best of the lucks in the contest.
peace, Enid. -
awwwwwwwwww how sweet
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I really like this. . . it really is beautiful. I was expecting something like this to end with the author getting absolutely heartbroken. . . but it didn't, which i'm actually really glad for. Good Job.
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WOW! This is so damn, beautiful. I like how you put in the part where he said I love you. That is so sweet! I wish that I could feel something like that! Oh just wonderful.
I hope you win the contest if you havent already.
Isnt it a great feeling to be in love?!
Good luck!
Kayla Dawn -
Wonderful & sweet
What a beautiful poem. Just reading it gave me that euphoric feeling of someone in love. -
This is very good. I love the moment that you're writing about. I can really relate... it's absolutely beautiful.
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applaud
oh, this is truly a sweet write... I simply love your words and how well you captured and expressed them. Nicely and beautifully done... It gladdens my heart to learn that this wasn't just a dream that is was real...
So now Good Luck in the contest!!!! And keep on writing, you have lots to say, share, teach, and learn from yourself and so many others. Please do so... Take care of yourself and thanks for sharing this... ALways ~Star
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I loved it! There was a misty atmosphere to this poem...Mysterious and beautiful. Good work!
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I love this feeling, Love. I love love. Love is lovely.
But eventually it either kills us, hurts us, or blows us off...somtimes even all three. Anyways, great write. It was so descriptive I felt like I was there. Take care and keep up the good work!
-Burn -
hey, this is a great write. and your right, it is a lot like the one i wrote just a while back... its a great thing, feeling like that... and oit is too bad it doesnt last forever... this is a great write, keep it up!
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A valentines to remember, thanks for the recap your a great writer. Keep it up.
~Dios~ -
I could totally relate to this:
"I slowly ran my fingers through your hair,
As we laid under the stars.
You gently kissed me on the cheek,
Then held me in your arms.
We gazed into each others eyes,
And then you fell asleep.
From that moment on I knew,
This was a memory I would keep.
You looked so happy and peaceful,
I think you had even smiled.
Maybe you were dreaming something,
That made this night worthwhile."
This is a great poem. It really, really is. Great job. Isn't love the greatest thing ever??????? Hehe. Check out some of my poems if you have the time. Anyways, again, great job. Keep up the good work. =) ~*Morgan*~ -
Aw, I've got to say that that's a really sweet one and I'm a total sucker for this kind of thing. I know exactly what you mean about the leaning over thing and as much as you don't want to wake the person it's hard to resist softly touching or kissing them.
Proper nice sentiments going down here.
Thanks for sharing. Hope you do well in the contest.
Damian.
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KRISSSTTTTEEEEENNNNNN!!! I don't care if you think this sucks! You are a really good poet! I never knew how good you were because I never read anything of yours before. It looks like it's so easy to write something of yours, but I know it isn't.. it may be for you, but I usually have to really think about what I want to say for my rhyming ones.. and this seemed so easily smooth for you. great write!! i loved it... so sweet!
-CarolyN- -
awesome
Great write! It seems you have found the right person and I am glad for you. Keep up the good writing! -
Heartfelt
Something similiar happened to me and my b/f on Valentine's Day. Only I never actually fell asleep, I just closed my eyes and relaxed in his arms. Thank you soo much for bringing that memory back to me! Great Write.
~>Tu Leona<~ -
i sooo had a moment like this recently, we weren't quite in love yet, but it was that special moment, that feeling of being in someones arms who cared about you in anyway. and it was so sweet being wrapped up in him all night long,,, so innocent... and it was our first kiss.. it was beautiful, this poem describes exactly how i felt that night, butterflies flying, great job! it flowed soo well! i love it! the background is perfect too! lol GREAT JOB~
SBC -
A very sweet and well done write , sooooo romantic May I make one sugestion ? In the 5th stanza , last line where you wrote PERIOD of time , maybe MOMENT or INSTANT of time would be a better word , as PERIOD is suggestive of a much longer time ....to me anyway , so it is just an opinion and I am not at all critisizing the poem
Reenie
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Woww....this is awesome...and has a lot of emotion behind it, if only we could all feel this way....Keep it up!.
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Great poem wonderful feeling and excellent emoticon as well as beautiful imagery, I loved it keep up the good work
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This is a really sweet poem! VERY well written! I don't know if this really happened or if you wrote it for the contest... but if it did happen. I'm happy for you.
God Bless you,
Jenna -
LOL the author comment ruined my warm fuzzy feeling
but yes... good poem, I kinda stumbled over the last line it does have the right rhythm but not in the context of the rest of the poem and you have to go over it a couple times for it to be smooth, and poetry if you're gonna make smooth poetry should be smooth first read....
Anywho. this was very pretty... and lovely... and I hope you and your bf get married and have wee little babies you can tell this story to.
Uh huh.
Jadey xXxXx
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awwwwwww. this is so sweet i love it cause i can relate to it as well very nicely done.. i remember when my bf and i used to cuddle.. that was a while ago now i cuddle myself
poor me.. but yea very nicely done..this poem makes me sad thinking of before when i had someone"wipes a tear" oh well nicely done!
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awww and wow this was really good i had a moment like that before its a great thing to be in the oneyou love's arms it jus seem to make every thing seem so right like nothing could be wrong i love the flow of this poem it shows your love for your bf so deeply in this it great this is such a sweet poem and i really enjoyed reading it good luck in the contest
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loverly poem, sets a loving picture
Good luck in the contest! -
thanks !!!
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ahh.. that is much better.. thanks a bunch for the correction.. that even makes the last stanza flow a little smoother.. nicely fixed.. great write once again.. best of luck in the contest!!!
Jeff -
I changed the ending....i should of read it better before I posted it on here. lol. Hopefully the ending I put helps now....
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i'm going to have to agree with jeff here, a great write though dispersed by the ending. don't you mean with you? or something like that? seriously? anyway. the rhythm was just. flowing. and that's something i LOVE to see, so yay and bravo at you
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wow.. this is a great write except for the ending.. the last line kinda confused me for a moment but I think you either meant with you.. or incomplete... dunno.. u may wanna fix that.. aside from tha minor technical difficulty this was a very well written poem and carried so much emotion.. you actually painted a picture and I love poetry that one can see.. wonderful job!!!!
Jeff
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