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Good Advice

The snake coiled
Regally in the tree, offers Eve
Paradise.

A mouse, caught, shrieks in terror as the snake
Bites, cool fangs clamp
Down upon it, mouse
Thrashes,
Jerks,
And is still.

I take a scalpel to the mouse's
Warm skin, still pink, young with
Life.  Injected with venom, fresh in
Death, I slice from jaw to pelvis, ribs
Cracking as I expose the intestines beneath.
Stomach, heart--still beating eerily on--lungs remain
Whole.
Liver, now a brown puddle, quivers awkwardly as gloved fingers
Peruse the remains.

Is this too disjointed?

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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