separation anxiety

i've tried to separate
the stampeding waves from the sturdy shore and
the blood from the vein and the
words from the meaning
so closely interlocked--

the alcohol from my stomach lining
(i failed of course)
without the whiskey, well
what would i drown myself in?
what would i wash you away with?

i try daily to separate the girl in the mirror
from the weight on the scale;
yeah shakespeare wrote about names
and all i write about are numbers
what's in a weight?
that which by any other adjective would still be as...

ugly?
pretty?
whichever.

i don't know whom i'm addressing anymore
with these fragile cocoon words;
the you i mean can't read
anything deeper than what shallow veneer i've shown you
the castle walls
the long hair i tempted you with, if only to cut
when you were halfway up--

you gave up
i give up, too.