Layin’ me Lawn.
Me lawn’s completely ruined since the river overflowed.
The water rose above the bank and flowed across the road.
It does it every time we get some really heavy rain
and after it’d swamped me lawn it took four days to drain.
Of course me grass was buggered when the water went away.
It left a layer of slimy mud and icky, sticky clay
and that was not the only layer it got, I’d have yer know
because, a few days later, came a heavy fall of snow.
Well, when the snow had melted and the sun came out again,
the surface where me lawn had been looked like a Norfolk fen.
When Hine saw it yer would not believe the fuss she made,
so I rang up a mate of mine to get the sod re-laid.
Well, Bill arrived at nine o’clock with a truckload of “New Lawn”
and an overstayer he’d picked up who worked right through the morn.
While Bill and I relaxed and yarned and cracked some cans of beer,
that feller cleaned the truck out as I watched him from me chair.
Then, Bill got somewhat edgy and appeared to be irate.
He suddenly leapt from his chair and raised himself up straight.
He hollered at his labourer: “You stupid bloody wop!!
How offen must I tell ya that THE GREEN SIDE GOES ON TOP !!”
Heathcote Giffen. September 11th.2009.
Author notes
Overstayer = n. An illegal immigrant; A visitor whose permit has expired.
We've got hundreds of them. Some are quite decent blokes who'll work for next to nothing. Mostly islanders, unskilled, cheap labour.
A contest entry
- HUGUENAUTIES CONTEST No. #48 by huguenauties.
750 points, ended September 25, 13 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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CONGRATULATIONS Heathcote for winning a HM trophy.
angelica
HOH&CO -
Ouch! Your lawn must have been a real mess! Enjoyed the read! And i enjoyed you two teasing each other!
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I like the layers you have shown with this cute poem. I enjoyed the steady rhythm of your long lines very much, you have great skill with meter. The last line is an old joke, I must have heard it thirty years ago (also an Italian joke, I think).
It's too bad that these people are "illegal" when they are willing to work, and really too bad that they are exploited for lower wages. We all want to live decently.
Cheers to you and Hine (love her reaction!), and best of luck!
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Made me laugh
I thought this a amusing take on the prompt, especially the last line green side up.
Serves the idle bunny right for letting his man do all the work while you loafed about
wop?? a tad politically incorrect but I won't tell if you don't...
good luck in the contest -
Dear Heath, I hope you read MY poem, I told you I'd post it. Hows the lounge? not very comfortable eh?
Love Hine
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LOL
You know what they always say, "You get what you pay for."
GOOD LUCK in the contest, Heath!
♥ Maureen
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Lol... a very amusing tale to help see through the frustration of your torn up lawn, Heath. Try not to blame the worker too much, though. It's kinda hard to take the boozin' of the boss who doesn't even offer a swig or two
A cute poem and I wish you good luck in the contest
Dee
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excellent~
Enjoyed this from start to finish
Best of luck in the contest
Do come give your castle sister's a read too
Hugs
Susan~~~
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Dear Heath, Oh my, I have seen what the river flooding can do to the lawns, not a pretty sight and I agree with Hugh, why didn't both of you help the poor man and show him what to do and then it wouldn't have been upside down. I hope Hine gives it to you for treating the man like that! Not even one beer? Disgraceful bad manner I must say.
Good luck in the voting though.
Love AL
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Someone needs to supervise Heathcote. LOL I hope the lawn is looking better these days. I've worked with lawns and sod and know the labor well. I would much prefer sitting in a chair with an ice cold beer.
A fine take on the prompt here. Thanks for entering and good luck with the voting.
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Dear Heathcote,
While I enjoyed your poem, one thing I can't understand:
Why didn't you and Bill get off your chuffs and lend a hand?
Instead of both just swilling beer and sitting on your arse,
with help, it would've taken half the time to lay the grass.
A good take on Pixie's 'layers' theme though.
Applause, and best of luck in the voting.
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Wonderfu ending...
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