...I've never seen you like that before, the way your eyes looked, it was like the devil was in you. I could tell you used every ounce of juice in you to not hit me. You are free to come and get your son whenever you want, and I promise not to hook you up with child support. But this relationship is over. I can't take any chances. Goodbye.
--–Precious.
Beer is running down the wall.
Rage is a thick hand nudging me to strike her.
The baby is crying now, he has heard this.
The house burns in blue flame, anger,
yelling –a relationship in its final moment.
Just want to knock things down:
bookshelf, lamp.
Punch holes, throw more beer cans,
hear it fizz before the thump.
She is scared, where the table divides us,
the glass one in the kitchen; I want to palm
the back of her head, and smash her face through it.
She has one finger up as if teaching me to count:
Just leave. Don’t do anything stupid, just leave.
Listening to our child cry, I feel ashamed;
the woman who lies in bed and cuddles him,
gives him her breast and prays I will always be here,
now afraid she will die tonight by my hands
–is begging in a whimpering, fear-stricken voice
to just leave.
.
A contest entry
- BWOW~~~Best Write of the Week~~~#20 by islekine.
700 points, ended September 19, 16 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Come on be blunt! I'm not sensitive, so if something sucks or needs to be changed, let me know.
Comments
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oh Boy!!!!
clearly you have some issues right now. but it's ok. writing is a release. i think you might have 'released' some them in this one. good write Boy.
keep on writing. love gypsyfish. -
I felt the rage in the poem burning me like a match to my skin,hurtful but ever so real.This violent poem has brought many people together to share painful memories,stand up to the one who hurt them or even maybe encouraged an abuser to leave a volatile relationship peacefully,or even go for help.
Amazing in every way thank for being so real about domestic violence..
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Beer is running down the wall.
Rage is a thick hand nudging me to strike her.
The baby is crying now, he has heard this.
The house burns in blue flame, anger,
yelling –a relationship in its final moment.
- the imagery in here is crazy. i love to see things when i read, puts me like in my own world and this just sent a shiver in me.... a good one. well written.
the ending well...
MWAH !, just ends off powerful.
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A hard hitting poem that shows the reality of a violent relationship.Congratulations on your gold trophy.
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thank you much for taking a look. Much love and respect to you
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real life drama and intensity. You will probably get some criticism for being truthful about violent thoughts but i think this happens when estrogen and testosterone no longer mixes. and it is a shameful truth when two can get along.
Congrats I think a well desered poem and I think in many cases a truthful one
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thank you much. im glad you like my poem
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wow - great impact! Unfortunately, something that I think way too many people can relate to....
Full of honest passion - rage is an uncontrollable passion sometimes.....so glad you could just leave....so many don't, and the damage can never be fixed, leaves scars that never heal.......
Excellent
thank you for your entry
best wishes in the contest (and your life)
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thanks for the comment and im glad you like my poem
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I do not know what to say about this but it is good to get it out this has touched me so it is hard for me to judge it thanks for entering best to you always be well
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yeah situations like that suck, what can be said. Im glad u read and liked my poem though. much love
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Your write is so filled with truth...
it hurts! I am glad you had the sense to leave...I hope you both find the love and will to raise your baby with compassion and understanding...
I wish you all the best in the contest...but especially in life! Things are tough for a lot of people right now...you made the right choice by leaving...Thanks for a very poignant entry!
Stay well...be blessed...love, light, and blessings!
Write on....carry on...
and
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thank you for reading and commenting on my poem. much love
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I hope I really dont know this man and woman, why is the world all getting to this? even my life, I feel the same anger even though I am seeking divorce, why either of the partners have to play the devil. i thank God I am away from her, otherwise I would have been doing all the things you wrote here. I have honestly never been the kind of man I have been after my marriage and it hurts me to have changed from what I am. I hope all this trauma and mental torture (I can understand fully) will be over soon.
Love and light
Lencio -
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you know I think stress and jealousy played a big part for me. And I will also say that internet can be the devil. All was well in our relationship until we started making facebook pages. then she adds an ex to her friends and so I do the same and someone leaves a sexy comment i talk to her about it she lies that she ever been with the guy and things was just a mess. All of this mixed with me getting a pink slip from my job telling me they are laying off due to no funds, a new baby that we were having a hard time finding an affordable baby sitter for and just so much. I think in the end, leaving was the best thing, and though our relationship is over with now, and though It hurts my heart to not be there with my family, I thank God that I didnt hit her. I may have killed her. I thank God I was able to just leave. Much love and respect to you my friend.
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I missed this one...
I don't know what to say, as I've been there, still there, it's wrong on every level
but it's also true on every level...
I've been struck, and I've struck, there's just no write or wrong at that time, no rational, till a poem later. You got it hon, this is the kind of poetry you need to write. I cushion mine. *winks* I always thought you had the Goetsch vibe...
love in poetry, K.
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well he is my friend on facebook now LOL. One of my fav poets too, I just may write him a poem. Im glad you enjoyed this thank you so much...And what are you doing hit'n on folks. Im tellin. LOL much love and respect to you
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Hindsight always becomes 20/20 but at the time we tend to just be in
the heat of the moment. Most often it comes down to our "expectations"
not being meet for we assume they should do/not do something and they do or don't do another thus shattering our imaginary image of control. Men always had the need to feel everything is in control and thus when that status
is shattered we go postal...
There isn't a man alive who hasn't wanted to backhand his other half at some
time or another. Whether or not we actually do will determine our final character in the end when all is said and done. We can never fully control
anothers actions, only our own...
Eddy
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I totally agree. I feel bad about that night, and our relationship is now over, she claimed because of that, but found out last night there was another reason and she used that night as a front. Love is a bit too hard sometimes. Oh well.
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You are a life poet. No, this isn't pretty, but it is real and it is flooding with emotions. One cannot read your words and walk away easily. Very well done.
L
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thank u so much for checking this out, but im soooo pissed you left me/us in the first place. You were like my mentor mami, and you left. How could you do that. Not cool at all. But i still got mad love for you, and I hope your new found love isnt giving you the flux.
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Raw, painful, and real.
"Just Leave" !!!
The honesty of your emotion is scary...being threatened with physical violence, or rage exploding on walls & objects around you...is a horrible experience.
Been there.!!
I used to think...I made him angry....Truth is....he's still angry, and I haven't been in his life for more than 20yrs.
Applause is for the honesty...& reality of you words..not approval of the physical rage.
Well written though.
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Guess he needs more than to just leave, more like anger management. You know I must say, though i was pissed that night, and had good reason to be, i didnt hit her, but rage is nasty, a poison, man i dont want any of that shit again. thanks for checking this out. much love and respect to you my friend.
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How many times have I said those words?
I can't count them.
Always the result of him not listening was physically painful for me.
Then, I stopped saying them and listened to myself and "just left".
This piece brought painful memories to me
along with a new sense of freedom.
You've (as always) penned real life in a realistic way.
I agree with donnz. When it gets to that point someone must leave.
This I believe is one of what I'm sure
will become among many favorite writes by you.
Still haven't mastered how to do the clappy things but,
know I send you as many as
the page will hold.
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poor thing. We all have a story to tell dont we. Im glad you were able to relate to this in some way though I do hope you wont have to go through it. Well, again anway. Much love ma, and much respect.
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Very powerful, honest and real. Life isn't always pretty.
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thank u very much. And no life isnt always pretty, but i sure hope to find a pretty side some day
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Those words have a lot of meaning..."Just Leave", if at first you listened to them, would there even be anything to write about. Hurt and anger wouldn't have been at each other and rage would have subsided and you could return to the women and child and all would have been forgotten what one was mad at in the first place. But back to the write; great. As always you have a way with words.
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Thank u much for your thoughts on this. Joy u have no idea babe.
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Journalistic
Identifiably real ( Life be like that, sometimes )
Well written. Difficult to reward, lest reinforcing.
When or if this happens in your reality
"Just Leave",
Even if you have nowhere to go.
If you do not leave, The writing will become a 'confession'.
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thank u much for your thoughts.......... "If you do not leave, The writing will become a 'confession'."
Umm, yeah... LOL
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