impossible transition

You never were one for cleverly written letters or sentimental apologies. I'm not sure what I expected from you, but it was more than a weak smile and a kiss on the cheek.

I walked back from your house determined to not shed any tears, but my eyes flooded the sidewalk cracks beneath me. I watched an ant try to float above the heavy water, but he never expected a flashflood. He searched for the edges, but they were too far away and the water consumed him.

I wished I could just collapse into the sidewalk crack and take my chances against the floods... but no, reality sprung its own version of a natural disaster on me. And I felt like a firefly fighting the winds of a hurricane. Useless.

If only I could pause my thoughts for a while, but instead my mind drifts to you. And it will for a while because life without you is such an impossible transition. I already miss you.