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That's Surreal

falling deeper into the unknown

 

 


I am losing myself....


 [you forgot about our special promise]

and as a result
I lost my faith in you and us

A tree (died) not long after
I tried bringing it back to life
but it just crumbled away

After the tree died,
the sun stopped shining - 
I was lost once again.
 falling
   falling
     falling

deeper into the unknown

 

Author notes

pic prompt - "Before Autumn Falls Asleep" by Emilie Leger
pic prompt credit on the first one - http://miss-deathwish.deviantart.com/art/sea-maiden-116531149
This is part two of- http://allpoetry.com/poem/5695803

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • perfectsunset gold member
    September 15

    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful job here..

    I like how you've combined 2 photos
    on the page and the format in
    which you did-- very appealing.

    Great take on the prompt!

    Best of luck & thanks for entering


  • PoetessA.L.OPrunty
    September 13

    Edit | Reply

    Bravo!

    Part two is just as beautiful as part one. True talent.


  • Kathraina silver member
    September 11

    Edit | Reply
    Oh wow, completely stunning write hun


  • Kevin Moderators member
    September 10
    Edit | Reply
    very interesting piece, i love how the pictures work so well with it


    the italics i thought were a bit too much. loved the crazy 'A' and the font changes though, and the brackets.

    i lose myself, might be slightly more grammaricly correct as 'am losing', but dunno.

    just say no to ellispis (...)

    beautiful


    • Kari gold member
      September 10
      Edit | Reply
      See..I use the italics to express myself better. Some people like them and others don't. Oh, thanks for catching the part about the word losing. I'll correct that

      Thanks for your honesty with my poem. I appreciate it and I am glad that you liked it I might knock out a couple of those italics, I'm thinking about it lol.

      • Kevin Moderators member
        September 10

        Edit | Reply
        yeah normally i'd say they're great, except you have so many other html-things going on already, it gets to be a bit much.like in 'lost my faith' - new font and italics == too much.

        and the last line maybe try it in the same font as the 2nd stanza

        • Kari gold member
          September 10
          Edit | Reply
          Yeah, I'll change the fonts so there will be a generic font...I agree. I was testing and playing around with it

1 - 7 of 7