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Give Sorrow its Song (Pantoum)

Missing image
garlands of gold against silver white sorrow
memories' violins throb broken laurette
bereavement stringed to the cry of guitarro
drumbeat to heartbreak, please let us forget

memories' violins throb broken laurette
twilight's cool cello retracts city's blow
drumbeat to heartbreak, please let us forget
brazen and harsh lone electro crow

twilight's cool cello retracts city's blow
bereavement stringed to the cry of guitarro
brazen and harsh lone electro crow
garlands of gold against silver white sorrow

Author notes

Please step dance with me ... slooooowly

Art: Winter Symphony by Lena Karpinsky

http://www.artbylena.com/original-painting/644/winter-symphony.html

I have written permission to display the work of the artist. Please support her. Thank you!

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A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • MargaretG
    September 12

    Edit | Reply

    love it

    Your poem has a lot of musical terms which express the emotions with images. I like pantoums when they move as gracefully as this; the repetition of the first lines brings it to a neat end. You have painted solitary sorrow with
    "twilight's cool cello retracts city's blow
    bereavement stringed to the cry of guitarro"
    Well done and good luck.


  • harrispoems silver member
    September 12

    Edit | Reply
    I love the pantoum form, but I have been unable to find many of them. I like the imagery you produced here, particular this line, "twilights cool cello retracts city's blow." I especially appreciate how the '"G's" and the "S's" roll off the tongue in this line, "garlands of gold against silver white sorrow." Do you find Pantoums challenging to write? I've written one called "Leaves of Prophecy." it's in the "My List" Section titled POEMS ON SOME PARABLES OF CHRIST. I'd love to know what you thought about it. Good luck in the contest!


  • BabyBun silver member
    September 11

    Edit | Reply
    Beautifully written, I am so glad you entered this in my contest. Bravo Bravo Bravo!

  • siahaan
    September 10
    Edit | Reply
    here take my hand


  • Denerica
    September 10

    Edit | Reply
    Wow...this is masterful like the art you write about, you have your own unique style, shows grace, deep ties, your heart all woven in a masterful quality. Excellent. Blessings.


  • Keith
    September 10

    Edit | Reply
    I see what you mean about music. There is sorrow, and hope in the sounds of your words. Let the cool cello calm the pain of the world. K.


  • Amera gold member
    September 10

    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful; I love poetry penned with fluidic sounds and motion. Standing ovations!

    Love,
    Amera♥


    • myrataal silver member
      September 10
      Edit | Reply

      Thank you Amera!

      Your dance goes well with the beat. LOL

1 - 9 of 9