He said it's ignorance of something better
That keeps the two of us going
Which sounded slightly too convenient
To be true.
If it's ignorance that fuels us on,
Well
How does he know?
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
-
I like this piece, so short
yet it says so much, good
question. how does he know?
Great write and keep scribbling -
-
hey thanks heaps
the concept for the write came from an argument i have on many occasions with my fiance's older brother, where he claims ignorance is bliss and I debate that this isn't necessarily true.
Even though the poem itself isn't about him, or me, or anyone really, the idea of knowing ignorance could fix something or be the cause for happiness just doesnt sit with me haha
cheers for reading
xx
-
-
Okay, you want constructive? I'll do that, but first I'd liek to say this is really good.
"He said it's ignorance of something better
That keeps the two of us going
Which sounded slightly too convenient
To be true. - this is a pretty confusing line, it would make it better if you xtended, added detail, and that sort of thing. Also, each line does not need to be capitalized unless its the beginning of a new sentence.
If it's ignorance that fuels us on,
Well
How does he know? - it would probably sound better if you put "Ho do you know?" but this is pretty good, nice job"
-
-
hey cheers for leaving your feedback i'll mull on it for a while and see what I can come up with
in regards to the first letter of each line having a capital, it's purely an aesthetics thing..I have slight OCD with formatting and so on and so forth. In terms of writing, obviously not with comments. If each sentence and new line doesn't have a capital in my poems, I get panicky
Best to just give my subconscious what it wants haha
but thank you again, and as I said, I'll see how I can integrate it
xx
-
-
Thats actually a good point. How does he know?
<3
Adding your comment:
1 - 5 of 5
