My Mind Shifts on a Flip of a Dime

MY MIND SHIFTS ON A FLIP OF A DIME (Written 08-05-09)

We’ve been through a rough time
I can change on a flip of a dime
My mind is so white and black
First, you love me/ then you hate me
At least that’s how I think you act

Then I react, and hate you right back
I fall and crash down around me
On one slight word, I take wrong
My mind and heart react

I know I have hurt you
My cruel words have pierced you
I didn’t mean them at all
I was hurt by imagined things

I’m too sensitive to rejection
It takes very little to feel it
I over-react, ruining everything
that I always wish I had back

Please understand, it’s a weight on me
I don’t want you to carry it too
I make sure of that in what I say and do
Anything to push everyone back

It’s an ingrained response, fight or flight
Please look beyond, I don’t want to lose you.
What you ask is new to me, a strange subtle request
I can’t do it yet. I can’t love myself, even at your behest.


I’m trying to end my defenses and offences
I’m trying to mend my own soul’s fences
I have no right to ask you so…
Stay with me until I let them go.