The surface is the splash of troubled waters,
swells and waves and eddies roil its face;
beneath are fantasies of war and slaughters,
a battle waged within a mental space.
The questions find no answers, only feelings,
rebellion at reality's new garb.
If this is love, then end its rotten dealings,
deny its sting, remove its painful barb.
The turmoil brings complete and real disruption,
an end of idylls made by foolish minds.
No way around this cruel and rash eruption,
but through, is there another path that winds?
Remember where the peace of God is hiding,
below the clash of life, love is residing.
copyright Margaret I. Gibson Bates, 2009
Author notes
"When you row another person across the river, you get there yourself."
"When you are going through Hell, keep going." Winston Churchill
A contest entry
- HUGUENAUTIES CONTEST No. #48 by huguenauties.
750 points, ended September 25, 13 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Thank you for reading
Comments
1 - 35 of 35
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Depth and wisdom hard won by passage through such pain and turmoil and the sorrow it bears with it. Beautiful flow and poignant metaphor adds power to this poem. In fact, it reminds me a bit of Byron's 'Childe Harold':
"Man marks the earth with ruin,
His control stops at the shore;
The wrecks are all thy deed ...".
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Thank you Andantino. They say "write what you know".
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Golden poetry...
A battle waged in mental space.... truer words were never spoken, but what is lost is not intelligence, but wisdom, trust, and inner peace. It is not the evidence of love, but it's lack of expression for the sake of idylls (idols), and the material essences of affections come to naught.
I like to thnk of God as Love, because it opens the vistas of spirit ABOVE the clash of human will. For me, it is a refuge.
Margaret, I am awed and stirred by your abilitly to pen such depth in your beautifully composed sonnets.
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Thank you for your insights, Karen. Eventually the battle is lost or won, or we stop battling and get on with living. Wishing doesn't change facts. It is an act of will to change how one feels, a necessary step toward the door.
Blessings and hugs for you, sweetheart!
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Excellent writing and worthy of its prize, Love PF
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Thank you Petra! Best wishes in all you do.
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CONGRATULATIONS, Margaret!
Isn't it good to know you've still got it in you? Very nicely done..you deserved a SILVER trophy for your gem...nothing less!
♥ Maureen
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Thanks Maureen. When I have passed through the turmoil, there will be many more poems.
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Great! I pray that your passageway be short and narrow!
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CONGRATULATIONS Margaret on taking out the SILVER trophy.
angelica
HOH&CO
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Thank you Joan
It is a surprise; I am grateful to my fellow Huguenauties for their votes.
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I'm so sorry that you've been going through a rough time of it. I'm so glad you've reaped a beautiful fruit from it's turmoil for all of us to read and share. It's a wonderful sonnet!
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Dear Margaret, I see that your poem is of something that's happened in your life. I hope that everything works out for you and that one day you will be in less turbulent water and once more in more peaceful times.
Beautiful Sonnet.
Love Hine.
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Thank you Hine. We all have drama from time to time; I'm doing my best to live through this with the minimum of disruption. Thanks for your applause and supportive comment. Hugs.
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Written with much skill and emotion!
Dear Margaret,
So much turbulence in your life!
But like all storms, they cannot last
and when the darkest clouds have past,
may sunshine bring you warmth and solace.
zzz
♥ Maureen
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Thank you Maureen. I hope to look back on this time and write more objectively. Thanks for your consolation.
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So many times throughout life I'm reminded that God doesn't give us anything we can't handle. Your splendidly executed Sonnet belies the turmoil of these moments in your life yet expresses it so clearly. It WILL work it's way through those troubled waters to once again flow smoothly.
Blessings, and I wish you best in the contest
Dee
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Dear Dee, thank you for your lovely comment. I am here because I think it has a purpose, otherwise I could be somewhere else. Peace is there, though emotion overshadows it at times. Many thanks for your support.
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Dear Margaret, life throws us many curves that we have to go through, somehow we come out of the darkness into the light to start living once more. The pain never goes away completely but it does lessen.
Wonderfully written my friend and hang in there, you will one day emerge from the darkness a stronger person.
Love to you my friend.
Joan
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Dear Joan, thank you for your kindness and wisdom. I think it is only because I am already strong that I can persist. Many hugs and blessings to you.
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excellent~
What a sonnet
Penned perfect
Best of luck in the contest
I have to welcome you to the group as well
I just posted my new one for the group
I hope you come give mine a read
Hugs
Your castle sis
Susan~~~
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Thank you for your time and kind comment Susan. I will read all the poems closer to the end of the contest. Many blessings to you.
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The reader is captured
by the drama and momentum
of this piece and at once saddened
by the implications.
May the hope expressed
in the closing couplet
buoy you along to happier
waters, Margaret.
Take care,
M-C
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Thank you for your kind reading and comment M-C. Where would we be without hope? That is what brings us to what we desire. Hugs and blessings to you.
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If this is love, then end its rotten dealings,
deny its sting, remove its painful barb.
I particularly liked these lines, but the whole poem flows a beautiful sonnet.
I like the Churchill quotes as well
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Thank you Pattiboo, and welcome to the group. My sonnet is a little dark for me, and I would like to get back to more hopeful and humorous poems. However, sometimes you take what you get. I'll read your entry soon.
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Dearest Friend ...
In poetry not only essence surfaces, but also prophesy. We need to listen to our hearts, need to see it on display in our words and actions, but God alone knows how blind and stubborn we carry on! Even through hell ... The question however remains: does God want hell for us on earth? Or does He want us to live in peace and in happiness? And if so, what is our responsibility in attaining that heavenly state on earth?
Only you, my precious friend, can define what you are able to or willing to endure. Make your choice, Love, and stick to it, through thick and thin. For, the choice asks for you to keep your eyes on Him, no matter what, not looking back. And one day you may find: the peace of God, beyond all reason, is within my very soul.
My prayers go with you, always. I so love your poetry: it is timeless, gracious and very you.
Love
Myra
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Dear Myra, thanks for your wise and compassionate comment. I have not diverged nor erred, and I am called to forgive those who have, if they repent. Living my own creed and aiming toward my ideals gives me sight of peace, however clouded it may be from hour to hour. What I have cannot be destroyed, and changes do not change its essence. Living this belief is a bit harder.
Thanks for your loving presence.
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Dear Margaret,
Although I am pretty sure what you mean, your first line had me diving for my dictionary which defines "bash" as "n. a heavy blow; a bang.". I can't help wondering whether "mask" or "veil" would not be apt in place?
Otherwise, as usual from the pen of my "Sonnet Queen", this is immaculately contrived, and thoughtfully constructed with flawless meter and unforced rhyme.
The volta at line #13 and the culminating couplet provide a telling finish to a splendid sonnet as do the quotations in your Author's note.
"Beneath the surface, what layers of trouble are hidden in these waters?"
Thankyou for entering this contest, Margaret, at this period of turmoil in your life.
With admiration, love and hugs, XXX Hugh (R.)
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Thank you Hugh
You are right, I used "bash" for the sound, and replaced it with "splash". I like the rhyme with "rash" and "clash" near the end. As for me, no end is near.
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Wonderful take on the prompt here.
Your sonnet captures well how our lives are often layered with trials and white water we need to cross on a flimsy raft...we're probably going to get soaked at some point along the way. I sometimes refer to these times as "character building" experiences which helps me along in my journey, knowing that something good or useful will come from it. We can't help but wonder too, how much more is in store before the time of trial is no more.
During those times, we need to remind ourselves it will come to an end and to just keep plugging away until we get there. The Churchill quote in your AN is a perfect fit.
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Thank you Pix! This has already gone on months longer than I would wish, but I have support from many old and new friends.
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I'm sorry you're facing some difficult times Margaret and send my wishes that tranquil waters are waiting for you just around the river bend.
Happy to see an entry from you. Thanks for entering the contest.
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Excellent
If I had oil, I'd pour it out upon,
The troubled waters of this world of ours,
Where soil is red, and faces pale and wan,
While war is waged, across the fields of flowers,
When will it end? We ask the blessed powers,
Must man sweep sour, all trace of him be gone?
No! Life will stay, and there I end my song.
I'm glad you ended your sonnet on a note of love, Margaret. That's what made it for me. And I love the word "roil" by the way, never seen it used of waters before, though I know the word "moil". Sonnet writing's a great way to resolve inner turmoil. I sometimes think world leaders should sit down and breathe some words of kindness, rather than taking words and building them into swords and blood.
That's the rant over for today. Oh, and have some applause, by the way.
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Thank you Keith
It is in our trials that our ideals are most difficult and useful. Cheers!
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