Welcome, my brethren, to the dilapidated land of breast milk and honey locusts.
Welcome to the deserted isle of cultural inbreeding and mandatory ineptitude
Salutations and greetings, please do not expect to leave with a glimmer of recognizable attribute
As the brainmatter drains from the orifices of your cranium, please direct your fading attention to the nadir of hope, our crowning achievement: greed. The soft blue greed, tinged with the evergreen of jealousy, and welded in the yellows of idleness.
Drifting mindlessly past the River of Hindrance and up the Eight Mountains of Trite, gazing across the Plains of Confinement and Forests of Insignificance, we come to the conclusion that all is the product of causal eventuality and eventual causality.
We see for the first time our overwhelming sexual desire not as a component of our psyche to be understood and kept in moderation but as Ruler of the Mind, sitting upon his Throne of Delusion, sporting the Bejeweled Crown of Self-Destructive Self-Importance. Long live the King! they shout and exalt for the happiness he has wrought his naught but what we most wished for
Bow before the senseless admiration of the senseless, and bound and gag the senses for their treasonous sensations and premonitions of a bleak future. The road to ruin is paved in gravel, while the road to Heaven is paved in gravy and potatoes, Pork rinds for Stop signs, Pop Rocks for Sidewalks, Gingerbread pedestrians.
Let the light of clouded judgement be your guide to relaxing servitude, free from choice, blame, action, and freedom.
May your children cry at night and your heart explode in disgust
Author notes
Another older one, during my freakshow phase.
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