My Natural Undoings

1.

I HAVE TWO SIDES

One’s logical, but also tight, confused and depressed

One’s free

I wanna be free

I don’t wanna be tied down anymore

I can’t lose this feeling on my mind

It just comes at me all the time

I wish I could feel something else

Something true, and nothing else

I want to feel where the stars be

If that happens to need the case to be.

You see, I’m confused, ary and scared.

My passion is bound for something unknowing

And scared. I’m afraid to die, but I want to constantly,

My friends think I’m gay and I’m

Constantly throbbing. Throbbing with passion of

Unease and corruption. My pain burns with in, because I used to love her.

My motives have gown strong, but my pain still lingers.
I can’t deal’ with this pain deep between my fingers.
Every time I scratch my case begins to cry,

What am I doing on this planet? Why do I need to be survive?!

I can’t play games, but I want to fit in, my pain hurts so bad I can’t feel my friends.

I know who they are, and why they should be, but I can’t seem to get this grip

Of pain out from reality. I hurt so bad, my ankles are swollen (literally) I play basketball

With my friends and I become uncertain. I can’t have fun without being astray, my life has

Become love and I cannot find it without lust. I guess I don’t know, like I said I’m confused,

I can’t go on without this pain, I’m so used to put in use. I can’t find without banging, my true passion

Is hanging, hanging out with my friends in my mind. I want to be social, I know of no other, way to survive

Inside my own head. I cannot keep on going without this passion to be slowing, me down, in the rain, when I fall.

I fall so deep my pain cannot sleep, I feel my need to survive with glee. I put strains in my body to keep

1a.

Me feeling lofty, I cannot go on without the herb. I fixes me in ways I cannot begin to explain, It helps me with my eating and habits. I’m just kidding that’s a minor flaw for my mind is so passionate right now.  I saw once a gutter, with a pain like no other, it said to me, “will you be my friend?” I said I dunno brother, my pain is no other, why don’t you come and try to be with my friends. They said, “Boy just come on back if you ever wanna catch I buzz, I done told you once bitch I’m the best they eva was,” And then they played “Fire on the mountain run boy boy run, Devil’s in the house with the Risin’ Sun,” and you know the jist, I just can’t get it out of my head, my pain drips within and I’m floppin’ all over the place. My mind is in tangles, but I can’t seem to be ushering out a new way of surviving. I flow within, but my pain seem grim, I wear a grin to cover up the sin. I stole a green pipe to give to my wife, and she flow away and never saw me again. I hold her close to my hand, but she banished one day, saw me, and broke me in pieces. That’s a mix of two stories, don’t you worry about your borty,  just come clean with some excess in Gas. I don’t mean to be jibber, my private life is at jibber, no man can understand my thoughts, I present them in cones, because my Mind is all alone, you couldn’t think of passing your way slalom. Don’t go to that extent, I’ve already paid the rent, my guessing keep you coming and going. You think you’re really flowing, and your questions come unknowing, my passion burns deep within. You might be questioning what I meant, what I say I’m legit, but trust me baby, I’m not. My pot keeps going, like and underground slogan, keep me burning with passion inside. I tell it to die like and ocean, my mind remains un-open, to certain things like freedom and ….I forgot now because my brain unwound, it’s time for me to go to sleep one time. I’ll wake up the next, do the same ol’ respects, maybe even cuss a few nigs out, I don’t care ‘bout your couch, or the underwear you wear, just wear it where I can
See it, you understand?”

Nope nope probably not. But I don’t care, just keep your underwear where I can’t see it wherever I may be at, at any given day.

That’s obviously a joke and mindless nonsense. I keep on carrying on like I was. “lol,” (actually more like a chuckle) keep going on now! “Ta, Ta!”
“
2.

That last one was a doozy, sorry, I’m feeling woozy, the drugs have got to my brain.

I know I’m insane, I can’t change the way I think, maybe with medicine if I try. I can’t

Stand to feel hate, I regret what I can’t change, change is like a obstacle in my life.

Nothing seems to matter, sorry to bother you with chatter by the way, it just seems like

My mind is conversing with my numb bodily experiences and I can’t seem to keep myself

Focused. I promise I’ll keep you interested. I’m not good at promises so keep yourself

going.

2a.

Now this may sound like chatter, because my mind is in a spatter, but

Chaos intertwines with your brain. It’s a part of the universe you can’t

Describe, it just pains you to see it survive.

2b.

No point in doing this, I’m going nowhere, I can’t even rhyme, without

Being on time. Being on time is a crime in structure, because like no other,

Perfection cannot be met, so you’re wasting your time trying to catch a

Beat with a broken net, trying to plow a field with a blind mans hands.

It just works, possible is impossible, fate is uncertain, really when you roll

Around a wheel, you’re still facing straight up! Think about it, nah I’m just

Really throwing you off and I don’t mean to. Passion love is like an icon, just

Keep it flowing and you might run into a river. Just keep that river flowing..

…every night and day.

3.

Third time is a charm, and you know two personalities don’t mix.

But they create a blend of balance, one of insanity, one of the polar opposite, which

Is truth, certainty, that you re a true individual, and you have the faith to make

A great impact on the world around you, you are the world, and it succumbs to

You every time. You make it do what you want, the only thing you get mad at

Is yourself. You are never to blame, you are only uncertain of what shame is, for

It is certain, you can’t acertain a thought or a feeling if it didn’t come from you

Own beginnings. You are who you belong to, nobody else. Not even a God, for you,

Nor anyone else can ever prove it. You are only as certain as you’re your uncertainty…

It basic English mathematics. I guess, I don’t really know, but it doesn’t matter, because

I don’t know anything. I am a wonderful person, just like every human on this planet,

I just do bad things like everyone else. Everyone does good things. It’s all uncertain,

We perceive the world as good and bad, and we can’t keep ourselves in check if

We can’t respond to our own crisis by a means other than directly conforming yourself.

See you’ve been programmed by the natural order of the earth and human concepts

surrounding it, that you have been mislead by that very thing! Even Hitler could enjoy a

Nigger or two if he tired one out. Mindless rants…

They are the key to Mental Stimulation Survival. Otherwise known as ‘Ms. S.’ By

Stimulating your brian with what’s truly natural, you fit into the Earth, providing you

With the up most benefits of survival, that’s why you should follow your means, reject all

Filters, for filters break and cause floods. When you swim in the river, you’ll see the

Ocean much clearer, one day, you’ll know what I mean.

3a.

Until then, keep on grim, put your grin on and smile everyday.

My thoughts are knowing, my certainty is unknowing,

I’m just recapping the previous thoughts.

For this is the end, oh yes, my beautiful friend, my and your thoughts

Are combined. I know what you want, and you can see straight through me,

Let’s just let one read what they’ve got.

Closing Statements.

I know you’re confused.

You should be.

This is chaotic.

But it’s the natural structure of the universe as we can see it.

Conform to the unconformity surrounding you everyday.

If you do that, you will see in much more vivid colors,

You will see what truly surrounds you. Not what you think is there.

There world isn’t about you want, it’s about what it wants from you.

Mix it up. It’s all one.

I’m done.