When youthful zest sits down to dine with age
The wizened one consumes exotic fare
As youth becomes seduced by thyme and sage
One hopes they will enjoy the meal they share
The wizened one consumes exotic fare
While listening to youth describe today
One hopes they will enjoy the meal they share
As wisdom tells the tales of yesterday
While listening to youth describe today
Perhaps the meal will teach age something new
As wisdom tells the tales of yesterday
Will youth consume the words of wisdom too
Perhaps the meal will teach age something new
As youth becomes seduced by thyme and sage
Will youth consume the words of wisdom too
When youthful zest sits down to dine with age
http://www.shadowpoetry.com/resources/wip/pantoum.html
Author notes
wow...that was a head trip to do. pppffft
A contest entry
- The "F" word... No, not that F word. by The Reapers Angel.
400 points, ended November 18, 27 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
honest critiques opinions PLEASE
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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This is such a very, very clever poem and one that I shall read over and over to fully understand and to enjoy.
Your rhyme is perfect as is everything else and one of the best poems I have read for a long time.....Thankyou.
Lu x
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I have read this again...thyme and sage eh...Wow what a clever poem so well written as well...I think I'm right in my interpretation aren't I?
Perhaps the meal will teach age something new
As youth becomes seduced by thyme and sage
Will youth consume the words of wisdom too
When youthful zest sits down to dine with age
I loved that verse,
Yes we have so much to learn from each other....A fantastic poem...Thank you, once again very clever...Dan -
Totally awesome!!! I loved it!
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a good piece, the pantoum is a nice form i think, other than sonnets in this site of late, and me doing my own form lol i am not really seeing people write much in longer forms like this. try the villonnet, that's a nifty form.
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hhhmm I've done a villanelle before,
never a villonnet...will hunt one down, try. thanx!
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WELLL DONE EXELLENT!!
the rhymeing is great ...i had to get a dictornary out for "wizened" i had no idea what that ment at all so snyway it was a great poem i liked this part the most
"While listening to youth describe today
Perhaps the meal will teach age something new
As wisdom tells the tales of yesterday
Will youth consume the words of wisdom too"
tell it !! its great story i like reading this poem i never seen one like this befor talking about the topic u talked about! great work keep it up.
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I have just read this 4 times...It's a great piece, like a rondeau almost. Beautifully crafted in style lovely rhythm and wonderful rhyme with an interesting story....Well done Dan
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I marvel at your mastery here. You have made it all fall together so seamlessly that one hardly realizes they are reading form poetry, the flow, the subject matter, the words so wisely chosen. Bravo, dear poet.
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What a convoluted form! You truly pulled it off. Every line makes sense as it follows the one before it, and leads into the one after it. But besides that, it is a fun little story of a meal between the generations. I loved the line "As youth becomes seduced by thyme and sage", that's a great double-entendre, and with the word wisdom under the word sage in the final stanza - well played.
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Thank you! Oh and yes convoluted pahooot! I was dizzy half way thru!
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Wow, you certainly pulled this off. Skillfully done
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