A breezed caress
brought tingled cool
to wash my shirtless skin
Thoughts seduced in charms of night sky vast.
Sent far my search
in wonder deep
beyond the grin shaped moon.
I chanced upon a blinking distant star.
No more than point of pin compared
yet sure it sparked enchantment.
So far in time it’s distance from my eye.
By seeking more
such more is found
In squint to sharpen focus
Keleidascopes of colours bright appeared.
Conforming not to flickered beat
or patterned rule in measure
more wild a twinkled flame in random dance.
Its whipsered words
were thoughts in mind
As though profoundly near
"I shine my dance for thee this night alone."
I dared not let my sight to stray
for fear it would be lost,
amid the countless jewels of lesser charm
My eyelids lazed
yet fast I held
exacting fascination
Til hours gently weighted eyelids closed.
The dawning sun disturbed my dreams
It mocked a fated curse;
"Such beauty waits so far beyond your reach."
In a list
What did you think
Comments
1 - 22 of 22
-
Ah the stars! How I love them! I can't see them where I am, but everytime I go to my friends house I see them so clearly and they do not fail to take my breath away! I end up standing like a wally mid stride gazing up at their beauty! There's one in particular that seems to shine with more earnestness and it always grabs my attention the most!
Your beautiful poem makes me want to gaze upon the stars again and makes me realise how much I miss them! Wonderful, beautiful! Love it!
Dari xxx
-
-
Sometimes the brightest star can steal your attention away from a smaller one that is actually far more beautiful. Sometimes the most earnest star is...... well.... just a show off, looking for attention.
No matter how beautiful they are though they always remain beyond your reach huh
Hope you get the chance to gaze again soon.
Thank you.
-
-
Well Andrew another beautiful piece of writing from your storehouse of treats. The imagery and feeling together make this a write that the heart can relate to. Double meanings here and both excellent. Be well my friend...mal
-
-
Thank you Mal, I am glad you found it's mirrored meanings and I am glad you enjoyed it.
-
-
Superb Plus +
Ah, 'tis a most excellent write, indeed. I loved the imagery which you so ably created. You expressed your thoughts quite well. Keep on writing, for you do have talent.
-
-
Thank you for your encouragement and thank you for returning the favour, both are equally appreciated.
-
-
You are quite welcome.
-
-
-
so many images here, you bring everything so so much life, for you skin is not just skin or naked skin, it has to be shirtless skin, and that sounds so beautiful you know... its not flickering flame, its twinkled flame in ramdom dance. wow! i know one day this poetry will be largely admired, it is so much worth it!
Thanks for sharing
Lencio
-
-
Thank you for everything you have said here my friend. Your words deserve a better reply than this one but I can only tell you that I sincerely appreciate it today.
-
-
I like this.
-
-
So pleased you do
-
-
you are one of the few I feel deserve to be called, Poet....
this is beautiful.
L
-
-
Thank you... you always manage to humble the bejeebus out of me.
-
-
this is the one i was reading and my computer froze and when it decided to wake up, i must have clicked on the other first. anyway... this is filled with an image of desire... of trying to keep your eyes set on someone, not diverting them... to only realize that your eyes need rest and the beauty still awaits, no matter the distance. beauty is never beyond the reach.
-
-
I shall take your words to heart and hold you utterly accountable if I do fail to reach
Sorry for freezing your computer too.
Many thanks.
-
-
When I read this I sensed that unique Garmond quality...this now feels like your signature meter. Stanza five is my favourite, but altogether this is an enchanting write. Another dream-like poem of beauty and discovery...and you do them so well...yet tainted at the very end with a touch of sadness. Always a pleasure to read you...Alby
-
-
Oh crap! Signature meter??? You just know when I am lazy and fall into my comfort zone
Thank you Alby, always a pleasure to share such dreams with you and thank you for mentioning your favourite stanza too. -
-
Tetrameters and Ballads are my lazy comfort zone, so I know what you mean. One day I'll push past the eight syllable barrier though...I can only hope!
-
-
-
I've read this through about 4 times now, and it just gets more beautiful with each read. I don't know if I should be reading it literally or metaphorically... whether it's about a person or indeed a star... but either way, I send thanks to that star for inspiring such a gorgeous piece of poetry! My favourite bit -
"Conforming not to flickered beat
or patterned rule in measure
more wild a twinkled flame in random dance."
So amazing. This reminded me of being at my parents house for some reason. I think because you can see the stars so much more clearly where they are. Less polution, no street lights... it's an amazing thing to rest your eyes on when you've grown accustomed to living in a metropolitan area.
For that, I wanted to say thank you!
-
-
Metaphor? Hmmmmm unfortunately I don't know what that strange word means
I can confirm that this poem is indeed about a dazzling 'star'.... and I hope that no matter which way 'star' is interpreted it will still speak true.
I really do love the idea of my writing invoking such thoughts and remembrances as you shared and described here.... I think that is just magical and thank you for quoting your favourite lines also.... it is always great to know which parts speak most loudly to others.
All round great comment Stef... thanks for reading me.
-
-
i dont want to seem too eager Sir,
but i am this shines so fair, fairer
then any Diamond mined.
you leave me with no words to utter
but only the fragrance of this piece
so pure in scent, Just simply beautiful!!!
I need to list this if you dont mind
Rend
-
-
Hahahaha.... and I need to frame your comment dear lady. Such a poetic shaped accolode, baring request. You humble me and flatter me Rend.
List at will.
Thank you for your unwavering support and encouragement of my writing too.
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 22 of 22
