A quick lick of yellow
Corona and slaves
Hauling more stones
Down paths lit by hibachi.
Plying the night constructing
houses for Gods ennobled
By hands, many hands, with -
- Fingers powdered, lime.
Imbibing Ra and Osiris
working a magical curium
Summoning things with
more names to prefecture.
Then remember me Pharaoh
In this quick lick of yellow;
As the waters miasma
Finding us middlebrow & wicked.
My dream I scans over pyramids
Watching the world swallow
itself out of need, and set up
I am eternally sessile.
A quick lick of yellow
Timeless uracil.
Author notes
Written April 4th, 2004
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1 - 21 of 21
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great
lots of big words and emphasis on color i love it, it keeps you interested. way to go! keep it up! -
Hmm. . . I followed you through the first 2 and a half stanzas, but after that I'm just lost. But this (at least what I could figure out of it) seems more using mythology and history to make a social commentary than fitting the choices I put forward.
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This was astounding. Admittedly, I had to drag out my dusty dictionary and check on a few words to understand this poem, though I think that I could have appreciated it for its artistry all the same. You conjour up fascinating imagery swirled in thick atmosphere.I enjoyed the read,
~Faded -
Damn, I think I'm drooling.
I love it when you make me...
use my online dictionary.
Use your powers only for good, okay?
Edited on Apr 05, 8:36 p.m. because '
'.
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Do you like it? I was sick of wearing yellow..upgraded to uber member...more college mailings out today. Did you get to Pear Ponderosa yesterday? I was there in my imagination...
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i always love the drama that your poetry creates. it provides for an interesting afternoon to say the least!
i still think you're beautiful.
N... -
Hey... how come you have a purple badge?
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I don't know what the hell you're chirping on about, but OKAY! This poem is about building pyramids and nothing more so just RELAX okay, next, moving on now. Fucking wack job freaks.
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you know... Egyptians honored other gods, not just Horus, Isis, Osiris and Ra... They honored over 100 different gods... holding yourself in the highest will bring you back with a horrible life. Sorry to break it to you...
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Well done
Horus8,
This was a very interesting poem you have written here. I'm not sure I understand everything but that is okay. Your words are very inspiring and you tell this very well. Sorry if I'm not totally making a lot of sense. Keep it up and never stop writing.
May the colours of the rainbow follow you always.
Smiles always,
Kristina
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The real humor in my statement god, which was lost on you was, well see... I'm not old and I fucking hate ezra pound and ts elliot, lol, almost as much as lapsnorkels that call themselves god since they're obviously high on cock.
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"how boring. that you compare yourself to T.S. Elliot is laughable. I suggest you put down your thesaurus, get out of your own ass and start writing something readable. your replies and the poem itself are so mind-numbingly pretentious that i want to gouge my eyes out with a spoon and eat them. "
This comment from someone who is pretentious enough to call himself "God" how tragic... -
i cannot fathom, how "god" or "gods" can be worshiped in a house made by man. how can something so conceivably "awsome" be contained in a little stone house?
then again, religion always was built on the backs of slaves, using blood for mortar, and body parts for stones.
pretty...you do the "thinking" parts so well.
N... -
Do not take God's advice, because, pretentious or not, this shit is fascinating and elusive, and thought provoking. Takes balls to be pretentious after all. And without pretention to greatness, one has no chance to be great. Me stupid.
Edited on Apr 04, 11:16 because ''. -
I like that God cat, man. Very funny comment indeed. I caught the I-eye thing, which fits in perfectly with the all seeing eye atop the pyramid, which is apt imagery, but a lot of this is lost on me, as i know very little of Egyptian culture and myth. Here is a little yellow lick though
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God wants to use a spune...how call is that? Have a great day...
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how boring. that you compare yourself to T.S. Elliot is laughable. I suggest you put down your thesaurus, get out of your own ass and start writing something readable. your replies and the poem itself are so mind-numbingly pretentious that i want to gouge my eyes out with a spoon and eat them. -
And yes I'm fond of myth and theology.
Edited on Apr 04, 4:14 p.m. because ''. -
I'm using 'I' like 'eye', and twisting my grammer by not pluralising 'path' to make it skip along quicker, I often do that in my old age much like Ezra Pound and TS elliot. Thank you for your critique.
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You made me use my dictionary (sessile). Kudos, because that's hard to do. Quick question: Should this be "scan"?
My dream I scans over pyramids
If not, I'd like to ask for clarification on that line.
down path lit with hibachi
~ Maybe paths? Either way, great image. I probably didn't picture what you meant, but I saw a night scene, braziers casting a red/orange gleam on the backs of men hauling huge stones... sweat glistening as their muscles strain... Slave drivers snapping whips (slightly anachronistic?) and yelling abuse... Neat.
Your name (and the subject of this poem) is Egyptian mythology... Are you interested in it, then?
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a thought provoking piece indeed
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