Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

White Walls

The curtains breathe
A breeze slips through the windows
Everything is new
New walls to hold in old thoughts
Thoughts that flare
in time with the percussion of The Lullaby
A lullaby will bring no sleep tonight
Eyes flood
All that's left of me
Consumed by a fresh coat
of white paint

Author notes

i'm a bit rusty. been a while since i've written

extra points to anyone who can tell me What's for dinner
there's a hint in the poem

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments


  • bellagio girl
    October 15
    Edit | Reply
    I loved the simplicity of this poem. Simple and beautiful. I think the white paint cleared the rust away. Well penned.


  • horus8 gold member
    October 15

    Edit | Reply
    "The curtains breathe
    A breeze slips through the windows
    Everything is new"

    If the curtains breathe?
    why further explain it in the second line.
    When we already assume it's a breeze of some kind.

    I would also change the second lullaby to song.
    otherwise awesome.