Grey
is the color
of your lovely eyes
as I look into them longingly.
Grey
is the sound
that I hear
from rushng wind
through a hollow tree.
Grey
is the feel
of a rough and torn blanket
worn
by a young child
living on the street.
Grey
is the taste
of death
still lingering
on the lips of those we have lost.
Author notes
Untitled
I awaken to gray
And gray is my morning sun
I live gray
And all days are like one
There are no colors
Only shadows along the way
Sometimes I think, the blood in my body
Must also be prison gray!
In a list
A contest entry
- Author Unknown # 3 "Untitled" by BluesMan.
3500 points, ended October 12, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
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Excellent
A very creative and heart touching write. So very well written. best of luck in the contest
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This poem spoke to me on many levels. With the exception of the third stanza which I see as the emotional death of a homeless child. To me the other three stanzas are a metaphor for the view of one who is still living, concerning a loved ones death. Your poem was in a sad note beautifully written. You have captured the Gray void of the prompt with style and grace.
Thank you for entering my contest.
Bill
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this is unique and there's no hint of cliche involved within this write at all; I like what you made the poem, how you didn't allow grey to be all negative as some would have made it... very good take on the prompt x DD
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this is lovely. I especially liked the 2nd stanza
(Your author's name always makes me think you must be Afrikaans, lol because "trekker" is very much an Afrikaans word)
~ Nicolette
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I like how you allowed "grey" to be your own personal color, and did not stick to the "cliche" use of the color (not that a poem using grey to convey feelings of loneliness or "blah" is necessarily cliche, but I like what you did here.
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you relate grey to good and bad things that you see, I like the poem, it says something the only crit is, could you tell us why the colour grey means so much to you, I don't mean my crit in a bad way, like a put down but I find myself wondering.
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Thanks for the comment on my poem. The color grey was in the prompt and it was suppose to be a prison type prompt. So I took the prompt and made it into my poem.
The color grey... well to me the color is simply put... in the middle. In this world we often find that things are not black or white. There is really no true right or wrong. So to me... grey is that area where you find your place. The place where you are comfortable. Neither black nor white.
Hope that helps.
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Grey is the color of things which have not yet decided on their destiny. I love this write of yours, Trekkergirl. As always, you have placed before us a piece which speaks so deeply to us. I especially was moved by the part which read....
Grey
is the feel
of a rough and torn blanket
worn
by a young child
living on the street.
I have seen this and have lived this, but that blanket was nothing more than the cold grey ground on which we slept. You have given to us a write that shows us many different moods in the one shade that neither is here nor there. I wish you the very very best in the contest and thank you so much for sharing.
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Thanks for commenting. You always give such interesting comments and I really do appreciate it.
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That is sad
I always hope this sort of thing is fictional. Well done, whatever.
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oh yeah a fictional write.
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Splendid write
Deep,happy,somewhat dark and all the same wonderful..you did a splandid job here, i love the imagery. this is most beautifully written, thanks for sharing this one. i will come back to give you the big applauds that this one deserves.
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thanks for commenting.
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wow!
this is deep!! i really like this, it could be looked at in a variety of ways, yet you gray choice and definition of it makes the entire piece just a matter of GRAY..
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hehehhehe. Yeah thanks for commenting.
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This is a real mix of emotions, starting of with happiness and love and finishing quite dark with death. You've merged from one to the other brilliantly, imagery is superb. An excellent read, much luck in your contest
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wow
wonderful imagery... i really enjoyed the flow and content of this piece...
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My
The authors notes explain it all. To be in a state of constant grey. And all the beauty of the world is blocked out. I thionk the grey only gets darker each day. Well done. Happy writing.
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you depict gray very well in many aspects of our lives. each one was strong but i liked the last the best.
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