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in the center of the iris of the eye



the gem, the opaque
gem, the gem
in the unseen diadem,

a seed,
corn seed, bean
seed, squash seed,
three become brightly braided
in one fierce lot,

an oracle,
sun, wheel,
mirror of constant
movement, as she silently works in
the fields next to me,

an ocean,
a gather, a bend,
river water gently nurtures
stone
eye cheek heart
fought, fails
to stay dry,

even the coyotes still sing
on moonless nights.


A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 12 of 12
  • Macsword
    September 27

    Edit | Reply

    Faith...

    the substance of things hoped for...the evidence of things unseen. Creation, God's handiwork. Well versed poet.


  • JadedSparrow
    September 12

    Edit | Reply
    There is almost an archaic feel to this piece. I felt tossed about by each line, and I must say that I found it to be most enjoyable.


  • Rend the Veil gold member
    September 11

    Edit | Reply
    i read this a couple of times
    because of what you wrote
    and it really struck me. i throughly enjoyed
    this Motel ss

    Rend


  • MoonlitRoses
    September 8

    Edit | Reply
    "even the coyotes still sing
    on moonless nights."

    Very vivid imagery =]
    Wonderful write!


  • glitterydoom
    September 8

    Edit | Reply
    eye cheek heart <__ i'm not sure wether there should be commas there or formatted like eye-cheek-heart. eye;cheek; heart; anything like that.
    but then again, without the pause it is said or read really quickly, is that the effect you wanted?

    other than me not understaning that bit i love this
    the imagery was simply stunning (:

    good luck in the contest


    • motel silver member
      September 8
      Edit | Reply

      thank you for the very generous comment.
      so glad you saw that there were no commas between the three words and understood the desired effect.
      thanks again.


      • glitterydoom
        September 8
        Edit | Reply
        your welcome (:
        I'm glad that was the desired effect and i wasnt just blabbering on


  • Previn
    September 8

    Edit | Reply
    I'm not too sure if i understood the perspective because this did seem a bit random to me but also interesting.
    I like the word choices.
    Sometimes I feel my writing tends to fall into using the same words a bit too often so its interesting to find some good alternatives.
    Take care


    • motel silver member
      September 8
      Edit | Reply

      thank you for your comment and taking the time to read this write.
      I'm glad you caught on the randomness ... it is the eye looking & hopefully seeing, becoming more aware outside its small limited scope.
      thanks again & take care.


  • billiejeanismyname
    September 8
    Edit | Reply
    that is truly, truly poetic! well done

1 - 12 of 12