An Ode to a Best Friend (I Don't Know What to Say)

It's so uncharacteristic for us to need each other
like we do.

I rely on you, you alone, to keep me together.

It's not in that peripheral way that I know you're my friend
and I won't do anything stupid.
It's that way that I don't function well without you
standing beside me.

And I wish I knew what to do, I wish I knew
what to say to make this pain disappear.
It kills me to look you in the eyes nowadays.

Your face only tells me that there's something I'm not doing
to make you as happy as you should be.
You were my strength when I couldn't find the light from the stars,
and I wish I knew how to do the same.

I wish I knew how to show you that these depths you're in
are only as suffocating as you let them be.
Just like happiness, the pain can only last so long.

The pain can only last as long as you let yourself drown in it.

We are all only shooting stars in the end, but you were made
to shine so bright for as long as your god gives you.

And the pain, it only becomes mind-numbing when you forget
why you chose to keep going when you were fifteen.
If nothing else, know that I can't live, I don't want to live a life
where I don't have you.
The only reason I'm not alone and dying because I have my best friend.

But I refuse to let you sink down to something less than yourself
because you are not merely ordinary-
you mean the world to someone, even if it's only me.