Still struggling to carve a fresh path;
to rewrite the script of
deeply grooved and tumultuous scribbles;
to expose a polished and tranquil etching
onto the slate of a once persecuted soul.
But when I’m standing on the edge of life
I sometimes forget how to breathe.
Still flailing, feeling the stinging desolation
nipping at my heels.
Always there, like a haunting, mocking dance ritual,
and I descend into the somber rhythm of its motion;
into an abyss of agony, and tooth grinding fear.
Nobody truly cares or understands,
but is there ever really enough
when it comes from outside the self?
Life has seemed to be a long and arduous fight.
Maybe this is my lot, what my destiny is:
to stand on the outside gazing in
at all the seemingly happy and contented humans.
Once again, I find myself teetering on the edge of life,
and I have forgotten how to breathe.
Author notes
paw-writer
- People with Disabilities group list • next in list
Comments
1 - 23 of 23
-
You struck gold with this line -
is there ever really enough
when it comes from outside the self?
My answer would be a big, fat NO. Stuff other people tell us is ego, stuff we tell ourselves is gospel. Whether right or wrong, the brain just says "okay" without question. The ego is insatiable. It can never be satisfied. So we can never get enough compliments from others. As long as we look outward for validation, we are weak and at the mercy of the opinion of others. The great irony is most of them are lost, too, looking to others for proof that their existence is worthwhile instead of just seeing themselves as a child of the earth, "no less than the trees and the stars" and they "have a right to be here" (as the Desiderata says). I've found that the happiest people I know are people I don't know very well, but the more time I spend with them, the more I learn that they are just as jacked up as anyone else. lol You're so right - we have got to get okay with ourselves. Until we do, we can never be right with anyone else.
I love the way you write, and think.
Mark
-
-
Wow! Thanks so much Mark for your insightful comment. I am not sure how I missed this, but sorry for the delay in responding. Your words of support here mean a lot to me. Thanks again! Blessings, Patty
-
-
This is very good. I like this poem very much!
-
This is a great write! Thank you so much for sharing it with me...This was my favorite part:
Life has seemed to be a long and arduous fight.
Maybe this is my lot, what my destiny is:
to stand on the outside gazing in
at all the seemingly happy and contented humans.
Once again, I find myself teetering on the edge of life,
and I have forgotten how to breathe.
Thank you for entering and good luck in the contest!! -
-
Thanks so much for the encouraging and uplifting comment! It is very appreciated. Blessings,Patty
-
-
Wow that is a really good poem. I really was swept up by your poem. It is amazing. I hope you do well in my contest and thanks for entering. Love and Peace!
-Jess
-
-
Thanks so much Jess for your kind comment. I appreciate the support. Blessings, Patty
-
-
oh so heartbreaking... I feel sometimes like I have to remind myself to breathe. holding my breath, gasping for air; always the outsider looking in. look at the bright side of things ~ at least we see what other's don't. their light is artificial. when we find the light, it is the real thing! karen
-
-
Thanks so much Karen! Blessings to you! Patty
-
-
Contentment is what one masters in life all by themselves. A look of contentment can be misconstrued. We can assume but never really know how another feels deep inside by the look on their face. For example, models, one can only imagine their thoughts when posing. They may be content or even appear to be content but that is most likely because they are there to sell a product while using thier body in whole. A very thought provoking write. Good luck. Rose
-
wow
this is exquisite! so full of emotion. from the gut. you pulled me into an intimate place with your words. I just have one comment about the content of the last part of your poem - it is sooooooooooo important to find ways to interact with people you care about and who care about you and to place yourself in challenging new scenes where you will meet new people. And in the interaction,
you will find - just the opposite of " seemingly happy, contented humans" The more people I meet, the more grateful I am for my problems - because I know for sure that I couldn't handle theirs! perhaps that doesn't quite parallel your meaning in your poem. But nevertheless - it is good to get out and make new friends and share yourself with others outside yourself - even though my tendency is an overwhelming urge to climb into a cave and never come out.
well - thats my 2 cents worth. for what its worth. sure liked your poem!
keep writing!
jingle/april
-
This is very emotional and powerful. I have always felt on the outside of things. I really like this one. God bless.
-
-
Thanks so much for the support Darlee! Blessings, Patty
-
-
Nicely written, a very good way of expressing that feeling that I think we all posses at one time or the other.
-
-
Thanks so much for your kind support and comment. Blessings my friend, Patty
-
-
I can so relate to being on the outside looking in on life. I too have so many demons from my past who haunt my being each day. I am still trying to find the light. I too often wonder if I was put on earth only to endure pain, but then I think no that cannot be because God sent me two angels to help me make it through each day my wonderful husband and precious daughter.
I hope you find the light one day as I am searching with you in the deep dark depths of the abyss. Amazing and heartfelt write, such vivid emotion and imagery. Have a wonderful day, Hugs Theresa
-
-
It is good to know I am not alone, but I hope you also find the light one day as well. Thanks for the very thoughtful and kind comment. Blessings, Patty
-
-
Wow..deeply intense with emotion. The entire piece is so moving..Your lines..
"Once again, I find myself teetering on the edge of life,
and I have forgotten how to breathe. " says so much in itself. A truly amazing read that makes me want to reach out with a hug..so heck here's a few
I wish you all the very best my friend.
-
-
Thanks for the uplifting comment, and I can use all the hugs I can get right now. Hugs back to you too! Thanks so much my friend. Blessings, Patty
-
-
powerful..
and very deeply saddening..i wish you well in time my friend..
-
-
Thanks so much Swan. Glad to see I haven't lost your support. Blessings, Patty
-
-
Oh my....I think I identify with you my dear...where I am and where I was...Such a write of exposure of your soul! I wish you well in the contest!
-
-
Thanks so much Rose. I appreciate your kind and thoughtful comments and support. Blessings, Patty
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 23 of 23
